The "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" (also known as "MST3K's Academy of Robots' Choice Awards Special Song") is the theme to the Academy of Robots' Choice Awards Special and is sung by Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot accompanied by Mike Nelson on the rhythm sticks.
Set-up[]
Crow T. Robot: Yes, Mr. Vice President. Yes, Mr. Vice President. Yes, Mr. Vice President. Absolutely, future President Gore.
Tom Servo: Ask him about my tax refund.
Mike Nelson: Hey, guys. What's going on?
Tom Servo: Mike, get your tux on! The Vice President is ordering us by special command to do an Oscar special!
Crow T. Robot: Funny quips? You got 'em, sir! Glancing blows at the titans of Hollywood? They're built in! A big musical number at the end featuring synchronized swimming and Michael Bolton and Madeleine Albright riding a monster truck? Can do!
Tom Servo: What are you telling him?
Crow T. Robot: Well, he's the Vice President. What else am I gonna tell him?
Mike Nelson: Well, you guys are on your on on this one.
Tom Servo: But, Mike! It was ordered by the Vice President!
Mike Nelson: So?
Crow T. Robot: What's that, Mr. Vice President? Mike, he says if you do it, he can wipe that "failure to yield" off your driving record.
[Mike dashes from the bridge, returning immediately in a tuxedo.]
Mike Nelson: Hit it!
Crow T. Robot: No.
[music swells]
MIKE
It's the Al Gore
Command Performance Oscar Special
We're doing it all for Al Gore...
Crow T. Robot: Mike! Al says you're upsetting his daughters. Cut it out.
Mike Nelson: Oh. Sorry.
Tom Servo: C'mon Crow, let's rev this puppy up!
Crow T. Robot: Yeah!
Tom Servo: Oscar Sign!
All: Oscar Sign!
[they exit to the Mystery Science Theater]
Lyrics[]
TOM
How will Gloria Stuart get to the Oscars this year?
Will Minnie Driver or will Greg Kinnear?
Or will she car pool with Robert Duvall?
CROW
Will Burt Reynolds wear his grey toupee?
Can Julianne Moore keep her pants on all day?
It gets awfully hot in that hall.
TOM & CROW
It's Oscar time in Hollywood
TOM
Helena Bonham Carters up the wazoo
CROW
A be-mutton chopped Sir Anthony
TOM
Check out Dustin Hoffman's new 'do
CROW
Say!
There's Robin Williams as Judd Hirsch
TOM
Judy Dench as Downtown Julie Brown
CROW
But most of all there's a nominee for Best Animated Short Film
La vieille dame et les pigeons
Tom Servo: We don't have footage!
Crow T. Robot: Oh. Sorry.
ALL
On the Mystery Science
Theater 3000
Vice Presidential
Command Performance
Academy
Of Robot's Choice Awards
Preview Special
Mike Nelson: Very nice.
Credits[]
- Music & Lyrics by Michael J. Nelson
- Performed by Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett and Michael J. Nelson