"Concepts!" is a song performed primarily by Tom Servo with Jonah, Crow T. Robot, Kinga Forrester and Max. They are accompanied by Growler and M. Waverly. It is Tom's response to all the different concepts found in the film The Day Time Ended during Experiment #1204. It is an upbeat song, done in the style of the patter song "Ya Got Trouble" from the musical The Music Man.
- (JONAH and CROW are sitting at typewriters)
- JONAH: Okay, here we go. The Day Time Ended, Scene 1.
- CROW: Man, I can't wait for the two of us to co-write this riveting, completely coherent sci-fi story.
- TOM: (pops up wearing a straw hat and tie) Did somebody say coherent?
- CROW: Oh, who in the Sam Hill are you?
- TOM: Professor Harold Servo's the name, traveling script doctor's the game. And I'm here just in time to keep you two from making a grave mistake!
- JONAH: Mistake?
- TOM: What was it your little tin friend just said?
- CROW: Well, technically, I'm equal parts titanium and spirit gum.
- JONAH: Well, he said, coherent sci-fi story.
- TOM: There's your problem right there! You two jackanapes are going about this all cockeyed! Hit it, Joe!
- (GROWLER and M. WAVERLY appear playing piano and banjo respectively as the song begins)
- So the word on the street
- Is you got a little movie 'bout time
- In particular, the day it's gonna end
- Well, friends, an ordinary movie man
- Might make an unassuming
- Three-act structure, conflict here
- And act break there
- Inciting incident, hero's journey
- All of that Syd Field flapadoodle
- But I say, friends, if you wanna
- Get the drop on a modern-day audience
- Of rubes, you gotta bamboozle 'em
- Sweet Jerusalem!
- Here's the news, youse twos
- Gonna be a doozy
- You can't lose when ya choose to use
- A lot of concepts
- Gotta stock 'em up
- Chock full o' concepts!
- Premises, plot points
- Anything and everything
- Throw 'em all at the wall, ya'll
- Just pack in the action
- Don't care if the events
- Don't make no sense, gents!
- They're gonna flip their lids
- No kiddin' when your script's overridden
- And veritably dripping with concepts!
JONAH: Okay, mister, we like the cut of your moxie.
CROW: But can you help us apply this method to our movie?
TOM: Darn tootin'! Everybody throw on a skimmer hat and a one-piece striped bathing suit and let's dive right in.
- Octagonal solar-powered house
- In the desert with a stable in the back?
- Not bad for a start! But pals
- Let me ask you, hows about a pyramid?
JONAH and CROW: A pyramid!
- A great big green glowing pyramid
- It beeps and it boops
- And it vanishes a pony
- And it gets so small
- You can put it in your pocket
- Then it shows up later and glows
- Nobody knows what it does
- Does it matter? Heck, no!
- 'Cause we're already moving on
- To a little elf, dancin' in the bedroom
- Naked as a light green jaybird!
- Has he got a single thing to do
- With the movin' of the plot?
- Who cares?
- And oh, did I mention?
- You're gonna need
- A kettle full o' spaceships
- Pretty white lights
- Two-steppin' overhead
- With a slow-poke alien shop vac
- And when you go for a walk
- With your wife in the desert
- There's a couple whizzin' by
- Like a Paterson Runabout
- Then, when you get home later
- Somebody's turnin'
- Bug-zapper lights on and off
- In the kitchen!
- But I digress.
- Now we're only 40 minutes
- Into the movie.
- So that's when we hit 'em
- With the ol' Jack Johnson
- With a pretty pair
- Of clay-mated monsters
- One looks like a Ninja Turtle
- Made of lava
- With a quintuple-decker mess
- Of mammaries
- And the other is a big
- Mean kitty-cat doggy
- Who with no reason bites on
- The other one
- Yes, sir-ee, take it from me
- You can bet your Robert McKee
- Indeed, we need to succeed
- We'll take heed and follow your lead
- Your gist consists of this
- Pile twist upon twist
- And we can't miss!
- Empty out your drafts folder
- How 'bout a trinary supernova?
- Yeah, you see? It's a piece of cake!
- Oh, could they also grill some steak?
- Bring on, and on and on and on
- Those concepts!
- Tom: Hot dog! So then, hows many can I put youse down for?
- Crow: We'll take the lot!
- Tom: Twenty-eight skiddoo!
- Jonah: (fixing his typewriter) Oh, this jammed, we're gonna have to start over. (Movie Sign blares) Oh, we got Movie Sign!
- (Everybody runs off)
- Lyrics by Storm Dicostanzo and Paul Sabourin
- Music by Storm DiCostanzo & Paul Sabourin
- Performed by Felicia Day, Patton Oswalt, Jonah Ray, Baron Vaughn and Hampton Yount