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1101EveryCountryHasAMonster.jpg

"Every Country Has a Monster" is a song sung by Jonah and the 'Bots during Experiment #1101 in response to the 'Bots' confusion over the idea of a Danish monster.

Lyrics

JONAH
Reptilicus is silly, but he really illustrates
The great array of monsters all over the place.
Not just in Japan, but across the planet:
An A to Z gamut, a gargantuan panoply.

TOM SERVO
Example, please?

JONAH
Well, name a land!

TOM
Belize.

JONAH'
Oh, geez. Easy-peasy, mes amis!
See, in the Yucatan,
You can meet El Cadejo.
In Belize, they believe in him,
They’re not afraid to say so.

TOM
Scotland?

JONAH
Nessie’s livin’ up in a loch!

TOM
How ‘bout Poland?

JONAH
A scary scarecrow named "Bubák."

CROW T. ROBOT
Huh. So it’s not just Godzilla?

TOM
Well, duh, Crow. There’s a lot that could kill ya.

CROW
Hey!

JONAH
Tom!

TOM
Sorry, Crow.

CROW
Okay.

TOM
Bros?

CROW
Sho’.

TOM
Yo, Jonah, how’s the chorus go?

JONAH
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.

ALL
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, a station they call their home!

CROW
Gunter glieben glauten Crow-ben.

TOM
What turned the musk deer’s guts to spaghetti?

JONAH
Was it in Tibet?

TOM
Yep.

JONAH
I bet he met a yeti.

CROW
Australia?

JONAH
Their drop bears will impale ya.

TOM
Then they’ll sell ya hella touristy paraphernalia.

JONAH
Chupacabra’s chewin’ up cattle down in Mexico.
Déélgééd’s horn is gorin’, battlin’ the Navajo.
Congo’s kongamato is a mondo flyin’ dino.
I know I don’t wanna die, but when I do, he’ll be the guy.

TOM & CROW
Whoa!

TOM
So, Crow?

CROW
Servo?

TOM
Ready to go?

CROW
Start slow.

TOM
Kropermann is a monster from Luxembourg.

CROW
Who’s actually the size of Luxembourg.

TOM
He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg.

ALL
Because he is the size of Luxembourg!

JONAH
What?

CROW
Egypt’s got mummies like Tutankhamun.

TOM
Leprechaun on the lawn in Boston Common.

JONAH
You ‘bots got the hang of it, this song’s really kickin’!

ALL
Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken!

Jonah: And by that, I mean Jiufeng and Peng, giant Chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish! Anyway…

JONAH
Gnus, killer shrews, and the loup garous
Baba Yaga, Jorōgumo, and the impundulu.
Now you guys realize the surprising size
Of all the worldwide daikaiju!

ALL
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.
Every monster

GYPSY
Sasquatch?

ALL
Has a country.

JONAH
That’s Canada!

ALL
Yeah, a station they call their home!

TOM
Tatzelwurm for the Swiss!

ALL
Every country

CROW
Scandinavia!

ALL
Has a monster

JONAH
That’s kraken!

ALL
They’re afraid of

TOM
Kinga!

ALL
In their nation

JONAH & CROW
Moon 13!

ALL
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, we’ve got Movie Sign!

Credits



Songs
edit
Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • "Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the Sky
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