"Every Country Has a Monster" is a song sung by Jonah and the 'Bots during Experiment #1101 in response to the 'Bots' confusion over the idea of a Danish monster.
Lyrics[]
JONAH
Reptilicus is silly, but he really illustrates
The great array of monsters all over the place.
Not just in Japan, but across the planet:
An A to Z gamut, a gargantuan panoply.
TOM SERVO
Example, please?
JONAH
Well, name a land!
TOM
Belize.
JONAH'
Oh, geez. Easy-peasy, mes amis!
See, in the Yucatan,
You can meet El Cadejo.
In Belize, they believe in him,
They’re not afraid to say so.
TOM
Scotland?
JONAH
Nessie’s livin’ up in a loch!
TOM
How ‘bout Poland?
JONAH
A scary scarecrow named "Bubák."
CROW T. ROBOT
Huh. So it’s not just Godzilla?
TOM
Well, duh, Crow. There’s a lot that could kill ya.
CROW
Hey!
JONAH
Tom!
TOM
Sorry, Crow.
CROW
Okay.
TOM
Bros?
CROW
Sho’.
TOM
Yo, Jonah, how’s the chorus go?
JONAH
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.
ALL
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, a station they call their home!
CROW
Gunter glieben glauten Crow-ben.
TOM
What turned the musk deer’s guts to spaghetti?
JONAH
Was it in Tibet?
TOM
Yep.
JONAH
I bet he met a yeti.
CROW
Australia?
JONAH
Their drop bears will impale ya.
TOM
Then they’ll sell ya hella touristy paraphernalia.
JONAH
Chupacabra’s chewin’ up cattle down in Mexico.
Déélgééd’s horn is gorin’, battlin’ the Navajo.
Congo’s kongamato is a mondo flyin’ dino.
I know I don’t wanna die, but when I do, he’ll be the guy.
TOM & CROW
Whoa!
TOM
So, Crow?
CROW
Servo?
TOM
Ready to go?
CROW
Start slow.
TOM
Kropermann is a monster from Luxembourg.
CROW
Who’s actually the size of Luxembourg.
TOM
He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg.
ALL
Because he is the size of Luxembourg!
JONAH
What?
CROW
Egypt’s got mummies like Tutankhamun.
TOM
Leprechaun on the lawn in Boston Common.
JONAH
You ‘bots got the hang of it, this song’s really kickin’!
ALL
Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken!
Jonah: And by that, I mean Jiufeng and Peng, giant Chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish! Anyway…
JONAH
Gnus, killer shrews, and the loup garous
Baba Yaga, Jorōgumo, and the impundulu.
Now you guys realize the surprising size
Of all the worldwide daikaiju!
ALL
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.
Every monster
GYPSY
Sasquatch?
ALL
Has a country.
JONAH
That’s Canada!
ALL
Yeah, a station they call their home!
TOM
Tatzelwurm for the Swiss!
ALL
Every country
CROW
Scandinavia!
ALL
Has a monster
JONAH
That’s kraken!
ALL
They’re afraid of
TOM
Kinga!
ALL
In their nation
JONAH & CROW
Moon 13!
ALL
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, we’ve got Movie Sign!
Credits[]
- Lyrics by Storm DiCostanzo & Paul Sabourin
- Music by Storm DiCostanzo & Paul Sabourin
- Performed by Jonah Ray, Baron Vaughn and Hampton Yount