"Every Country Has A Monster" is a song from Experiment #1101 - Reptilicus. It is sung by Jonah and the 'Bots in response to the 'Bots' confusion over the idea of a Danish monster.
The music and lyrics were written by Storm DiCostanzo and Paul Sabourin of Paul & Storm.
Lyrics
Jonah:
Reptilicus is silly, but he really illustrates
The great array of monsters all over the place.
Not just in Japan, but across the planet:
An A to Z gamut, a gargantuan panoply.
Example, please?
Jonah:
Well, name a land!
Servo:
Belize.
Jonah:
Oh, geez. Easy-peasy, mes amis!
See, in the Yucatan,
You can meet El Cadejo.
In Belize, they believe in him,
They’re not afraid to say so.
Servo:
Scotland?
Jonah:
Nessie’s livin’ up in a loch!
Servo:
How ‘bout Poland?
Jonah:
A scary scarecrow named "Bubak."
Huh. So it’s not just Godzilla?
Servo:
Well, duh, Crow. There’s a lot that could kill ya.
Crow:
Hey!
Jonah:
Tom!
Servo:
Sorry, Crow.
Crow:
Okay.
Servo:
Bros?
Crow:
Sho’.
Servo:
Yo, Jonah, how’s the chorus go?
Jonah:
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.
All:
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, a station they call their home!
Crow:
Gunter glieben glauten Crow-ben.
Servo:
What turned the musk deer’s guts to spaghetti?
Jonah:
Was it in Tibet?
Servo:
Yep.
Jonah:
I bet he met a yeti.
Crow:
Australia?
Jonah:
Their drop bears will impale ya.
Servo:
Then they’ll sell ya hella touristy paraphernalia.
Jonah:
Chupacabra’s chewin’ up cattle down in Mexico.
Déélgééd’s horn is gorin’, battlin’ the Navajo.
Congo’s kongamato is a mondo flyin’ dino.
I know I don’t wanna die, but when I do, he’ll be the guy.
‘Bots:
Whoa!
Servo:
So, Crow?
Crow:
Servo?
Servo:
Ready to go?
Crow:
Start slow.
Servo:
[1] is a monster from Luxembourg.
Crow:
Who’s actually the size of Luxembourg.
Servo:
He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg.
All:
Because he is the size of Luxembourg!
Jonah:
What?
Crow:
Egypt’s got mummies like Tutankhamun.
Servo:
Leprechaun on the lawn in Boston Common.
Jonah:
You ‘bots got the hang of it, this song’s really kickin’!
All:
Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken!
Jonah:
(Spoken)
And by that, I mean Jiufeng and Peng, giant Chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish! Anyway…
(Rapped)
Gnus, killer shrews, and the loup garous
Baba Yaga, Jorōgumo, and the impundulu.
Now you guys realize the surprising size
Of all the worldwide daikaiju!
All:
Every country has a monster
They’re afraid of in their nation.
Every monster
Gypsy:
All:
Has a country.
Jonah:
That’s Canada!
All:
Yeah, a station they call their home!
Servo:
Tatzelwurm for the Swiss!
All:
Every country
Crow:
Scandinavia!
All:
Has a monster
Jonah:
That’s kraken!
All:
They’re afraid of
Servo:
All:
In their nation
Jonah and Crow:
Moon 13!
All:
Every monster has a country.
Yeah, we’ve got Movie Sign!