MST3K
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"Has-Been Actors" is a song sung by Joel, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot before watching SST- Death Flight as part of Experiment #K13. It is inspired by the performers in the film and is a musical parody of Bob Marley's "Buffalo Soldier".

Lyrics

TOM
SST: Death Flight

JOEL
SST: Death Flight

TOM
Take a bunch of actors

JOEL
Take a bunch of actors (Crow T. Robot: Has-been actors!)

TOM
Has-been actors

JOEL
Has-been actors

TOM
Put 'em in a TV film

JOEL
Put 'em in a TV film

TOM
Put 'em in a fiery crash

JOEL
Put 'em in a fiery crash

TOM
With Robert Reed and Burgess Meredith

Joel Robinson: Not the dad from The Brady Bunch?
Tom Servo: Yes, he is. In a fiery death scene. Ha ha!
Crow T. Robot: Martin Milner, too!

Credits

Behind-the-scenes

  • In all available recordings, the earliest part of the segment is missing. This means several things are unclear:
    • There is no known official title for this song. "Has-Been Actors" is conjecture.
    • The opening line from Tom is assumed, as it is a call-and-response song.
    • With its unusual spot *before* the opening theme, it's unclear if the segment was for a re-broadcast or not.



Songs
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Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Tom Servo's Theme Song" • "Crow T. Robot's Theme Song" • "Mike Nelson's Theme Song" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Season 13 "The Perico Loyalty Club March" • "Sing a Song for Jiger"
Additional "Satellite of Love" • "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIClowns in the Sky I & IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the Sky
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