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(Kathy has a blank expression on her face)

Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

- Mike Nelson


The Movie[]

Main article: Track of the Moon Beast (film)

Synopsis[]

A mineralogist is struck by a fragment of a meteorite that causes him to transform into a monster. His old friend and new lover try to help him.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]

1007 2

Tom and Crow showing Mike their blossoming garden, made of the SOL's junk.

Prologue: Blossoming makes everything taste great!

Segment One: Crow and Mike devour Servo's deliciously blossomed head. Pearl has created a device that controls Bobo by universal remote.

Segment Two: Recreating the first scene of the movie, Crow, Servo, and Gypsy rush the Halloween season. Mike, unimpressed, continues to eat pea pods. An embarrassed and contrite Crow acts as though Mike was terrified, but takes it a little too far.

Trackmoonbeast

Pearl controls Bobo with a universal remote

Segment Three: SOL's Legends of Rock present: The tragic story behind The Band That Played "California Lady."

Segment Four: With the help of the Mobile Personnel Reconnaissance Robot, Servo and Crow might finally learn what kind of pajamas Mike wears!

Segment Five: While playing with his bow and arrow, Servo accidentally shoots a baby satellite. Brain Guy give Bobo a few pointers on how to care for his newly exposed brain. Pearl hates that.

Stinger: "Moon rock? Oh wow!"

MST3K cast[]

Quotes & References[]

  • "This is a lousy version of 'hey-yayy-yay...'"

Servo is singing the chorus of the song "Return to Innocence" by Enigma.

  • "I have a creepy feeling that this was filmed at the Spahn Ranch."

The Spahn Ranch was home to Charles Manson and his {{|w|Manson Family|"family"}} prior to their killing spree. While this movie was not filmed at Spahn Ranch, The Creeping Terror was.

  • "Frank, there, is a child of the universe, no less than the trees."

"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here" is from "Desiderata", a 1927 prose poem by Max Ehrmann.

  • "It's his Indian name. His tribal one." "Like Wahoo McDaniel."

Edward McDaniel, better known by his ring name Wahoo McDaniel, was a Choctaw-Chickasaw Native American who achieved fame as a professional American football player, and later as a professional wrestler.

  • "We're gonna have to practice some Zen and the art of watching motorcycle maintenance."

Written by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is a fictionalized autobiography of a 17-day journey made on a motorcycle from Minnesota to Northern California. It is neither factual on Zen Buddhist practice nor motorcycles.

  • "He got that bike cheap from Gary Busey."

In 1988, actor Gary Busey was severely injured in a motorcycle accident in which he was not wearing a helmet. His skull was fractured, and he suffered permanent brain damage.

  • "I borrowed my outfit from Doc Severinsen."

Doc Severinsen is a jazz trumpeter famous for his long stint as band leader on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. He was well-known for his relatively flamboyant clothing.

  • "I'm Kent Brockman."

A reference to the newscaster from The Simpsons.

  • "I just want some peyote!"

Peyote is a hallucinogenic plant that is sometimes consumed in Native American religious ceremonies.

  • "Do you know Billy Jack?

Gunslinger and martial artist Billy Jack is the bi-racial Cherokee/American hero in a series of cult films created by and starring Tom Laughlin.

  • "Why do you keep a picture of Army Archerd on your nightstand?"

Army Archerd was a gossip columnist for Variety magazine for over 50 years. He made several appearances in TV series and films, including an episode of Batman.

  • "When will our eyes meet?"

A quote from the song "Weekend in New England" written by Randy Edelman. The melody of the background music is remarkably similar to that song.

  • "He stole Robin Gibb's head!" "I started a joke...."

Robin Gibb was one-third of the Bee Gees. Their song "I Started a Joke" was released in 1968.

  • "Hey, behind Longbone! There's Waldo!"

In the Where's Waldo? series of books by Martin Hanford, the reader is tasked with finding a man in a signature red-and-white-striped shirt (like the guy sitting behind Johnny in the shot), bobble hat, and eyeglasses, amidst a series of chaotic illustrated scenes.

  • "He opens his curtains and immediately gets hit by Skylab!"

In 1979, the abandoned NASA space station Skylab disintegrated while re-entering Earth's atmosphere, scattering debris across the Indian Ocean and Western Australia. Its demise was an international media event with both humorous and panicked reactions.

  • "I am the Jim Morrison King!"

An inversion of a line from The Doors' spoken-word piece "Celebration of the Lizard", in which Jim Morrison states "I am the Lizard King."

  • "FAME, Fame, fame, fame, fame..."

Reference to the fading repetition in David Bowie's song "Fame".

  • "Hi, I'm here for the misbegotten!"

An allusion to the Eugene O'Neill play A Moon for the Misbegotten.

  • "Is that Dick Gregory?"

Comedian and activist Dick Gregory was once known for making public appearances with extremely obese people in which he vowed to help them lose weight.

  • "Martin Yan?"

Chef Martin Yan is best known for hosting the PBS show Yan Can Cook.

  • "Toots and the Maytals."

Toots and the Maytals are a pioneering ska, rocksteady, and reggae band.

  • "Brewer & Shipley."

Brewer & Shipley are a folk rock duo who enjoyed their peak success in the late 1960s–1970s. They are best-known for the song "One Toke Over the Line".

  • "She's got an autographed picture of Elvis Costello and Dean Acheson."

Elvis Costello is a well-known musician whose signature look includes horn-rimmed eyeglasses. Dean Acheson was the U.S. Secretary of State under the Truman administration.

  • "It's Chairry before she gained weight!"

The living armchair Chairry is a character from Pee-wee's Playhouse.

  • "Goodnight, Keith."

Said during a shot of the moon. Keith Moon was the drummer for The Who. Goodnight Moon is a popular children's book by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd.

  • "Your own personal moon rock..."

Servo is parodying the Depeche Mode song "Personal Jesus".

  • "Thank you, R. Crumb!"

Cartoonist R. Crumb is one of the pioneers of the underground comix movement.

  • "What's happening to the Indian in the painting?" "Uh, he's in the cupboard."

The Indian in the Cupboard is a 1980 children's novel by Lynne Reid Banks. It was later adapted as a 1995 film of the same name.

  • "Nobody knows what may happen." "Except for Faith Popcorn."

Faith Popcorn is a futurist and author known for projecting business and lifestyle trends. She inspired Joel's invention in Experiment #423.

  • "I was dreaming and suddenly Judith Light appeared over my head."

Actress Judith Light is best known for co-starring with Tony Danza on the 1980s sitcom Who's the Boss?.

  • "I'm ready to fight Captain Kirk!"

The Moon Beast slightly resembles the Gorn, a humanoid reptilian species that appears in Star Trek.

  • "I'd like to see Kathy." "And I'd like to see Marmaduke."

This riff (along with Mike's subsequent "Aaack!") are references to the long-running newspaper comic strip Cathy. Cathy, a single professional woman, often responded to frustrating situations by exclaiming "Aaack!". Marmaduke, another long-running newspaper comic, revolves around a suburban family and their uncommonly large Great Dane.

  • "Does anyone need a food cart to crap on?"

In 1995, Gerard Finneran, a Wall Street investment banker, had been refused further alcoholic beverages when the cabin crew of United Airlines Flight 976 determined he was intoxicated. Finneran threatened one flight attendant with violence and attacked another. He then went into the first-class compartment, climbed atop a drinks cart and defecated. He used linen napkins to wipe himself and smeared his feces around the cabin. Upon landing, he was arrested by the FBI and charged with interfering with a flight crew and threatening a flight attendant. This incident would be referenced occasionally in RiffTrax productions as well.

  • "I must get to my Skitch Henderson convention."

Lyle "Skitch" Henderson was a composer and conductor who worked for NBC for much of his career. He served as the original bandleader on The Tonight Show for both original host Steve Allen and Johnny Carson.

  • "Hey, did you hear about Niels Bohr and his wife?"

Niels Bohr was a Danish physicist who made foundational contributions to understanding atomic structure (the Bohr model) and the old quantum theory. During WWII, he joined the Tube Alloys program as well as the Manhattan Project.

  • "Tonight on Sightings."

Sightings is a TV show about paranormal phenomena that aired during the 1990s on Fox and then The Sci-Fi Channel.

  • "I need a wheat penny and a Glock."

Among coin collectors, the term "wheat penny" refers to pennies minted between 1909 and 1958. A Glock is a type of handgun.

  • "Let's throw water balloons on Georgia O'Keeffe!"

American painter Georgia O'Keeffe worked and lived in New Mexico. She preferred a semi-hermitic lifestyle.

Memorable Quotes[]

[Archaeology professor Johnny "Longbow" Salina and his students walk off after a prank.]
Kathy: Um… why do you call him "Johnny Longbow"?
Paul: Well, it's his Indian name. His tribal one.
Mike [as Paul]: Like Wahoo McDaniel.
Paul: It translates: "warrior's bow that... reaches long to its mark".
Crow [as Kathy]: Oh! Is he seeing anyone?
[During one of Johnny Longbow's long-winded monologues, thunder rumbles in the distance.]
Crow [as God]: Stop talking, Johnny Longbone(sic)!
[A meteor has just landed right by Paul and Kathy.]
Kathy: Paul, are you alright? What happened?
Servo: She gets off the ground saying, "What happened?" a lot.
[Kathy is worried about a cut on Paul's forehead.]
Paul: I don't live too far from here. And I have lots of antiseptics at my place.
Servo: Dozens! No, hundreds of antiseptics!
Kathy: Your place?
Paul: Yeah, my place.
Mike: I call it "Antiseptic Manor."
Kathy: Fine. Your place, then.
[Thunder rumbles.]
Crow [as God]: Not his place! Fornicators!
[Paul zeroes in on Kathy's face for a smooch.]
Servo [as Paul]: Let me explain by auguring my tongue into your mouth.
[Paul rises after fainting.]
Paul: I guess I blacked out.
Mike: Um, excuse me, you African-Americaned out.
[Late at night, Paul leans against his pet lizard's cage, which is as tall as he is.]
Mike: He sure gave that lizard a lot of headroom!
Crow: Maybe he has a trampoline in there.
. . .
[Paul gazes at the lizard, who stares stonily back.]
Mike [as Lizard]: Well... now I can't get back to sleep, either. What do you wanna do?
[As a shirtless Paul roams at night, the camera cuts to a shot of the moon and zooms in.]
Crow: Tha— That's just a picture of the moon!
Servo: Yeah, the moon backed out of this movie at the last minute.
[Two young Native American boys practice archery, while stereotypical "Indian" music plays on the soundtrack.]
Mike [as Boy]: Thanks for the stereotype music!
[As the hospital, Kathy has an audio flashback, during which she stares vacantly into space.]
Mike: Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.[N]
[Johnny and Captain Mac, looking for Paul, drive past a road sign for U.S. Route 66.]
Crow: Get your kicks on meeee-ee-ee!
Johnny: I know what you're thinking.
Servo: I'm really boring and my slide show eats.
[Johnny tells Kathy of his plan to give Paul a quick death.]
Kathy: Johnny, you can't do this! Paul's your friend! Paul—
JohnnyPAUL IS NOT PAUL ANYMORE!
Crow [as Johnny]: HE'S SUPER PAUL!
[Johnny Longbow stares thoughtfully off into the night.]
Servo [as Johnny]: I see... a huge casino!
Mike: Oh, come on.

Video releases[]

Moonbeastdvd

MST3K DVD Cover

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