A troupe of female dancers is stranded on a deserted island with their manager, who is afflicted with a condition that makes him transform into a giant spider.
The Episode[]
Host Segments[]
Mike reads Crow's syndicated column
Prologue: Crow has a syndicated column in several major newspapers. Mike doesn't appreciate his keen observational powers. Tom is a big fan.
The Bots' obvious web
Segment 1: Pearl decides to move the castle in order to avoid the rising costs of a monkey license. Brain Guy protests, but Bobo is thrilled.
Segment 2: Mike clumsily stumbles into the Bots' obvious giant spider web.
Segment 3: Mike, his feet on the desk like Gary, auditions the residents of the castle. Bobo does soft shoe, Brain Guy dons a wig and imitates a steamy scene from Flashdance, and Pearl tries a ballet and falls over. Mike's invitation to "give us a little leg" doesn't go as expected.
Segment 4: Crow wonders if the movie's portrayal of women after a plane crash is accurate. So Mike crashes the SOL to find out.
Brain Guy's flashdance
Segment 5: Mike's been turned into a spider! But... not really. Meanwhile, The Mads decide to move the castle back to where it was. Bobo makes a chance discovery in a truck stop men's room, and Pearl decides it's time for "the talk."
Stinger: Stock footage of a plane crash makes the girls scream.
Obscure References[]
"Stop doing your Sharon Stone impression."
In the movie Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone's character uncrosses and recrosses her legs in front of a group of male police officers interrogating her, revealing that she is not wearing underpants.
"He's supported by a generous donation from the Onan Foundation and the Chubb Group."
Refers to the Onan Family Foundation and certain charitable activities promoted by insurance giant Chubb Limited, but simultaneously a double entendre of "onanism" (masturbation) and "chubby" (a slang term for an erection).
"I give Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia a B-plus."
The late Antonin Scalia was a famously conservative jurist. Mike pronounces his last name "SKAL-ya", while it is more commonly pronounced "skal-EE-ya".
"Ah, Temple Foster, where they worship Australian beer."
"Let's go visit Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins!"
A reference to the stars of the 1980 movie The Blue Lagoon, in which a very young couple is stranded on an island.
"Excuse me, Charo?"
Charo is a Spanish-American comedian and musician, whose thick Spanish accent is a hallmark of her performances.
"I've got feet like Billy Pilgrim."
Billy Pilgrim is the protagonist of Kurt Vonnegut's novel Slaughterhouse-Five. Pilgrim's feet were discolored (described as blue and ivory) due to his mistreatment as a POW in World War II.
"The bad news is they were picked up by Captain Ron!"
Captain Ron was a 1992 comedy movie starring Kurt Russell as an unkempt boat captain of questionable ability.
"Damn Californian, it never helps anyone!"
The SS Californian was a British steamship that was nearby the HMS Titanic when it sank, but did nothing to help.
"Poor fool thinks they're manatees."
Legends of mermaids were purportedly started by sailors who glimpsed manatees from afar.
"Tuns out they were on Catalina."
Santa Catalina Island lies just off the coast of southern California, about 20 miles from Los Angeles.
"The Dixie Chicks go big game hunting!"
The Dixie Chicks are a female country music trio that were at their peak of popularity when this episode originally aired.
"Mmmnn. Pearl Drops."
As Bobby spies on the women bathing he licks his tongue across his teeth, similar to 1970s television commercials promoting Pearl Drops Tooth Polish.
"She's from Minnesota." "Their governor's a huge bald Nazi." "Man, they're future governors of Minnesota!"
At the time of this show's original airing, former professional wrestler and actor Jesse Ventura was the Governor of Minnesota. He is a large man with a shaved head and right-wing political leanings.
"So, Minnesota. That must be passive-aggressive."
Mike was referring to the fact that some consider "Minnesota nice" as a form of passive-aggressiveness because it can be a forced politeness.
"I'm worried that Eric Von Zipper's gonna show up"
Tom is referring to one of Woody Allen's least-successful films.
"Look at that shadow - it's Sideshow Bob!"
A palm tree's shadow resembles the wild hair of character Sideshow Bob on the animated TV series The Simpsons.
"Soundtrack by Schroeder."
Schroeder is a Peanuts character who notably plays a range of piano styles adeptly at very young age.
"Look who's coming down the path!" "Mister McFeely?"
Mister McFeely is a character portrayed by actor David Newell on the children's television show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood who works for "Speedy Delivery".
"Well, she dances as well as Bruce Springsteen."
In the music video for the song "Dancing in the Dark" singer-songwriter Bruce Springsteen invites a female fan onstage to dance in a simplistic arm-swinging style.
"For you the worst woman in the world is too good for you." "But I like Tonya Harding...."
Tonya Harding is a former figure skating champion who notoriously plotted with her ex-husband Jeff Gillooly to hire an assailant to cripple her rival Nancy Kerrigan. Harding plead guilty to the charge of conspiracy to purposely hinder Kerrigan, which resulted in her being banned from the USFSA.
"Is he strong? LISTEN BUD, HE'S GOT RADIOACTIVE BLOOD!"
A reference to the theme song of the 1967 animated TV series Spider-Man.
A pastiche of a quote by the character Benjamin Buford ‘Bubba’ Blue from the movie Forrest Gump, in which he listed the many different types of shrimp dishes he enjoys.
"And this one's from France, and it's supposed to tickle us!"
A "French tickler" is a condom with additional protrusions on its surface.
