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in: Season 13, MST3K Episodes, Season Premieres, Directed by Tim Ryder

MST3K 1301 - Santo in the Treasure of Dracula

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“ Hey, you got your Spirit Halloween Store in my Ed Wood Movie!

No, you got your Ed Wood movie in my Spirit Halloween Store! 		”
- Jonah Heston and Tom Servo


Santo in the Treasure of Dracula is the 1st episode of Season 13 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the 218th episode overall. It was made available on March 4, 2022 to Kickstarter backers and on May 6, 2022 to Gizmoplex users.

The Movie[]

Main article: Santo in the Treasure of Dracula (film)

Synopsis[]

Santo invents a time machine that gets him embroiled in the machinations of Dracula.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]

The "Madvertisements" have different placements between the rough and final cut of the episode.

Rough Cut[]

Segment One: Kinga and Max are now operating out of Moon 1, having destroyed Moon 13 (and 14 and probably 15) while escaping from the trap set for them by Jonah and the Bots. For the Invention Exchange, Jonah has given Crow the ability to blink, while Kinga introduces the Gizmoplex, a giant complex that includes the Kingadome, which can stream Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes old and new.

Segment Two: Tom gets Jonah to reveal shameful secrets from his past, but his yearbook reveals he was actually pretty cool. Except it's not his yearbook and it's all a lie.

Segment Three: Jonah as Santo and GPC as Lisa Rinna present QVSanto, selling accessories useful for warding off supernatural horrors and cryptids. These all end up being bought by Max.

Sponsor One: BearManor Media: Jonah is a fan of BearManor Media biographies, which include celebrities such as Marjoe Gortner and Lee Van Cleef. Tom Servo believes BearManor should publish his biography and goes full-on Roy Batty.

Sponsor Two: They Came from Beneath the Sea (from Onyx Path Publishing): Crow wants to play as a half-merman/half-centaur in They Came From Beneath The Sea. Jonah believes it is too complex and advises using a human character instead. Crow responds by presenting a figure who combines the top half of a merman and a centaur.

Segment Four: At the pre-fight faceoff between the Clear Crusader (Tom) and Alexander Slam Bell (Crow), they match each other kind word for kind word and generous offer of help for generous offer of help.

Segment Five: Jonah and the Bots sing "The Perico Loyalty Club March", a tribute to the character from the movie. A meteor hits the Gizmoplex and Kinga sets the Cambots free, but realizes she must contact Dr. Cabal, a mysterious financier from the future.

Sponsor Three: Bendy (from Joey Drew Studios): The ad copy Jonah reads proclaims Bendy to be innocent and nostalgic. Tom and Crow swiftly disabuse him of this belief, using exceedingly improper innuendo.

Final Cut[]

Segment One: Kinga and Max are now operating out of Moon 1, having destroyed Moon 13 (and 14 and probably 15) while escaping from the trap set for them by Jonah and the Bots. For the Invention Exchange, Jonah has given Crow the ability to blink, while Kinga introduces the Gizmoplex, a giant complex that includes the Kingadome, which can stream Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes old and new.

Madvertisement One: BearManor Media: Jonah marvels at biographies published by BearManor Media, including such luminaries as Marjoe Gortner and Lee Van Cleef. Tom thinks BearManor should publish his biography and goes full-on Roy Batty.

Segment Two: Tom gets Jonah to reveal shameful secrets from his past, but his yearbook reveals he was actually pretty cool. Except it's not his yearbook and it's all a lie.

Madvertisement Two: They Came from Beneath the Sea (from Onyx Path Publishing): Crow wants a half-merman/half-centaur as his It Came from Beneath the Sea character. Jonah opines that it may be too advanced and suggests trying a human character instead. Crow counters by proposing a character that has the upper halves of a merman and a centaur fused together.

Segment Three: Jonah as Santo and GPC as Lisa Rinna present QVSanto, selling accessories useful for warding off supernatural horrors and cryptids. These all end up being bought by Max.

Segment Four: At the pre-fight faceoff between the Clear Crusader (Tom) and Alexander Slam Bell (Crow), they match each other kind word for kind word and generous offer of help for generous offer of help.

Madvertisement Three: Bendy (from Joey Drew Studios): The ad copy Jonah reads proclaims Bendy to be innocent and nostalgic. Tom and Crow quickly disabuse him of this notion with innuendo of highly inappropriate content.

Segment Five: Jonah and the Bots sing "The Perico Loyalty Club March", a tribute to the character from the movie. A meteor hits the Gizmoplex and Kinga sets the Cambots free, but realizes she must contact Dr. Kabahl, a mysterious financier from the future.

Stinger: Santo gets cut off for a tussle.

Obscure References[]

  • "Methinks thou doth protest too much."
A paraphrase of a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." It's typically quoted to accuse someone of lying or trying to deflect blame, with the emphatic nature of the effort making it obvious.
  • "I was just catching up on my e-mails."
A reference to Strong Bad of the long-running Homestar Runner webseries, a luchador-esque character (like Santo) whose most famous segment is checking his e-mail and mocking them in various sketches.
  • "We interrupt Mexican Odd Couple for this important bulletin."
The room seen here bears a resemblance to the main set of the Neil Simon play The Odd Couple, which was later adapted into a film and sitcom (several times). Jonah follows this line by humming some of the theme song by Neal Hefti.
  • "Drink your Ovaltine."
In the film A Christmas Story, main character Ralphie decodes a message from the Little Orphan Annie radio show, like a message is being decoded here, and is outraged to find it's only a commercial for their sponsor Ovaltine.

Callbacks[]

Running Gags[]

  • Using "Dracula" as an interchangeable term for all vampires.
  • Everyone keeps asking for or offering Cognac.

Behind the Scenes[]

MST3K Cast[]

MST3K Crew[]

Production[]

  • The Theme Song is sung by Tom Servo (for the first time) and Kinga.
  • For the first time, the Hallway Sequence is animated rather than a physical set piece.
  • This episode was first shown as part of a livestream event that was exclusively available to those who had backed the Kickstarter at a certain level. This livestream did not include the credits for the show or a Stinger.
  • The livestream also saw the premiere of the Madvertisements, ads promoting various companies that had sponsored the Kickstarter. They consist of Pearl and Synthia prompting Jonah and the 'Bots to engage with the various sponsors' products. In-universe sponsorship is not without precedent (see Pizza 'N' Pasta).
  • A technical glitch delayed the livestream for nearly half an hour, with most of that time taken up by showing a white dot that was supposed to only briefly flash onscreen. The fans quickly took to filling the time by chatting about the dot like it was a new character, which was then picked up on by the crew themselves in the following Q&A segment, becoming the first popular meme of the Gizmoplex era.
  • Mega-Synthia, a character created for the live shows, makes her first appearance in MST3K proper.
  • Dr. Kabahl can briefly be seen as Max pushes the button to end the episode, foreshadowing his official introduction in the next episode.
  • This is the first episode directed by Tim Ryder.

Goofs[]

Video Releases[]

Gallery[]

References[]

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