[After a car has taken an abnormally long time to park]

"Nobody will be admitted during the breathtaking car-parking sequence! "

- Crow

The Short[]

Main article: The Phantom Creeps (serial)

Chapter Two: "Death Stalks the Highways" - Dr. Zorka continues to elude the authorities, using his invisibility belt and deadly mechanical spider.

The Movie[]

Main article: Rocket Attack U.S.A. (film)

During the Cold War, agents of western governments attempt to infiltrate Russia and prevent a nuclear holocaust.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]


Joel gives Tom a "haircut"

Prologue: Joel gives Tom Servo a "haircut" and sells him products to keep his head looking good.

Invention Exchange (Segment One): Joel's original invention, the Mexican Jumping Bean Bag Chair, was eaten by Gypsy, so he presents the Candy Adding Machine. The Mads present Water-Polo Foosball when they fill a foosball table with water. The foosball players are all Dr. Forresters and TV's Franks.

Segment Two: The SOL crew discusses the Cold War, and the Charlie McCarthy Hearings. Artist renderings strike again.

Segment Three: The Civil Defense Quiz Bowl...Los Alamos (represented by Crow) versus Oak Ridge (Tom Servo) versus a housewife from Long Neck (Gypsy)!

Table Water Polo

Table Water Polo

Segment Four: The SOL crew meets Joel's Russian counterpart, Sorri Andropoli, and his immobile robots. Alas, the access ports are not compatible.

Closing (Segment Five): Joel and the Bots are incensed about the movie and pick apart the plot. They read a letter and Dr. F is pleased with the crew's reaction, but Frank thinks he was a little too harsh on them. Dr. F tells Frank to push the button, but changes his mind when Frank wants to see Madame Sousatzka.

Stinger: A Russian nuclear bomb attack on New York is imminent, and a blind guy emotionlessly calls out, "Help me."

Other Notes[]

Regular cast

Guest Stars


  • Comedy Channel and BBI were getting complaints from viewers that Tom Servo’s head was covering up too much of the screen, so they tried an experiment: they installed a skinnier version of the Executive Snack Dispenser and announced that Servo had received a “haircut.” The experiment would only last two episodes.
  • The first-ever MST experiment to feature a stinger.
  • This experiment contains the first of several references to the 1988 film Madame Sousatzka which starred actress Shirley MacLaine.
  • As Sorri, Mike wears the khaki jumpsuit Joel previously wore in the KTMA episodes.
  • The Hexfield Viewscreen now sports a camera lens-like shutter, replacing the window shade used previously.
  • The opening is adjusted once again with this episode; namely with the final montage replacing most of the BGC-19 Drum Kit scene (which has one small clip that remains in the opening for the remainder of the Joel era); the new scenes include:
    • Sorri Andropoli appearing on the Hexfield Viewscreen (from this episode)
    • Both Invention Exchanges from Catalina Caper: the "Tank Tops" from the MADs and the Tickle Bazooka from Joel.
  • This episode was the sixth aired during Turkey Day '91.
  • Joel's original bright red jumpsuit appears for the last time in this episode.

Movie Edits[]

Like most riffed movies, Rocket Attack USA was edited to fit within the desired time slot by having several scenes trimmed. Footage removed from this film includes:

  • A lengthy sequence of narration over stock footage of engineers manufacturing different rocket designs.
  • A scene depicting a failed test rocket launch using more stock footage.
  • The scene showing the Soviet rocket launch had some footage cut to reduce its length.


  • After the ball is dropped into the water polo foosball table, it almost immediately gets knocked out.
  • The instrument identified in the riffing as a banjo is actually a balalaika.


Obscure References[]

  • <As Joel and the Bots read the opening text crawl.> "You guys sure Lucas was the first one to do this?"

Joel is referring to filmmaker/producer George Lucas and the similar opening text crawls used in his Star Wars films.

In reference to Tom's "haircut," and Tom's slight resemblance to Chris "Kid" Reid of hip-hop duo Kid n Play as a result.

  • "I'm standing in a shotgun shack, in another part of the world. But this is not my beautiful house..."

This is a reference to the song "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads.

  • "The general scratches his belly and thinks. His shirts are clean but his officers stink..."

Lyrics from the song "Bombs Away" by The Police (from the album Zenyatta Mondatta). Crow is actually mixing lyrics from different verses.

  • "We should send this in to Bob Saget!"

Bob Saget was the first host of the long-running TV Series America's Funniest Home Videos, which showcases various families caught up in hilarious hi-jinx for a chance to win a cash prize.

  • "Daniel Kern did the letters."

In typography, kerning is the process of adjusting the spacing between individual letters in order to achieve a visually pleasing layout. The part of a letter that sticks out past the edge of the type block is called a kern.

  • <Credit listing reads:  "Produced and Directed by Barry Mahon": "Next, in Star Search's opening credit competition..."

Ed McMahon was the host of the talent competition TV show, Star Search.  He was also Johnny Carson's announcer and sidekick on The Tonight Show, where he was known for laughing heartily at Carson's jokes. Tom Servo mimics McMahon's distinctive laugh before saying the above.

  • <Character on the phone: "Yes, sir. Yes, sir." "Three bags full!"

From the nursery rhyme "Baa Baa, Black Sheep".

  • <Voiceover:  "A top-secret coded message reached the desk of George White"> "It said, 'Drink more Ovaltine'"

Referencing a scene in A Christmas Story, where Ralphie is eagerly decoding a secret message broadcast on his favorite radio show.  The "message", however, turns out to be "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine", and Ralphie is crushed to discover that it is only "a crummy commercial".

  • "It's an ad for Dolphin Temp."

Dolphin Group Companies is a temp agency in Minneapolis.

  • "Oh, great, it's Rip Taylurski."

Rip Taylor is a comedian, known for his flamboyant act and outrageous costumes.

  • "Art Metrano! [humming] Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da..."

Art Metrano, who has a minor role in this film, is a comedian whose signature bit was humming that song ("Fine and Dandy") while performing inept "magic tricks" like moving a finger from one hand to the other.

Memorable Quotes[]

(A Man is relaying instructions on the radio)
Man on radio: For those of you still listening, follow these instructions if you can't get underground.
Joel: Try not to let your hair catch on fire.
Man on radio: Lay still until the blast has subsided.
Servo: Lie still for an eternity.
Man on radio: ...And above all keep calm and follow instructions.
Crow: For 100 years.
Joel: Drink lots of juice, it's good for you or have an orange.
Man on radio: Stay tuned to 6:40 or 12:40 on your dial.
(Cuts back to missile)
Servo: Now back to Clutch Cargo.
Narrator: (intones Somberly after Manhattan is bombed) : Ladies And Gentlemen. We cannot let this be...The End.
SOL crew: Oh yes we can!!

Video Releases[]