Without mawice... without thinking...
  — Commissioner "Fudd" and Joel, in a rare outburst

The Short



"He died and went to New Jersey"

Average Joe Doakes is a terrible driver and drives his poor, strange-looking guardian angel to exhaustion keeping him safe. Finally, his angel takes a rest...just long enough for Joe to kill himself in a terrible car accident. In the celestial courtroom, Joe presents his case to the divine judge who will decide if he can return to earth or move into death. Joe's angel presents the evidence of Joe's road rage. After the angel presents his case, he is released from his duties, leaving Joe and the judge. The judge poses the question to the audience: is he suitable to return to life, or should he be condemned to death?


The Movie



King Dinosaur

Filmed in three days by quickie king Bert I. Gordon, the story is predicated on the notion that a new solar system has set up shop "a half-year's rocket flight away" from our own. A group of intrepid space travellers blast off (via stock footage of Germany's V-2 rocket) to explore the earth's new neighbors. Upon landing on one of the planets (actually the mountains surrounding Los Angeles) the astronauts confront all manner of outsized reptiles (courtesy of clips from One Million BC). When the planet's dinosaurs threaten our heroes, the huge lizards are dissipated by an atomic-bomb blast (more library footage). Having made the planet safe for colonization (?), the space travellers return to Earth. [1]


  • Several portions of the soundtrack were re-used in the 1956 Ed Wood film and future MST3K episode, The Violent Years.

The Episode

Host Segments


Pocket science

Prologue: Joel and the Bots read beat poetry.

Invention Exchange (Segment One): The Bots debate if beat poetry has to rhyme. The Mads interrupt for the experiment; Dr. F is fixing the elevator and Frank is preparing for his hat party. Frank pushes a button. Dr. F feels great pain soon after. He declares he is his own invention, the Pocket Scientist. Joel accidently creates his as well...the Incredibly Stinky Sweatsocks.


Joey the Lemur

Segment Two: Crow ponders if he is suitable for judging the man from the short. He goes off into a legendary soliliquy in which he decides to change the world, celebrates life, learns to think for himself, and ends up making suggestions such as "Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear and smell like a cookie all day!"


Segment Three: It's Joey the Lemur, the Gilbert Gottfried of the animal kingdom! The Bots try to sing a song extolling the virtues of the lemur. It's not particularly convincing, but it sure is weird.

Segment Four: "The Emotional Scientist" sketch, featuring Joel as Albert Einstein. He protests, complaining about the dumb costumes and stupid ideas. The Bots try to go on without him with Crow as Madame Curie, but they realize the futility of the whole thing. Joel consoles them, and rejoins them for one final try.

Closing (Segment Five): Crow laments the Robert L. Lippert films he has been forced to watch in lieu of better cinema. Joel demonstrates the theremin and the key role it played in many of Lippert's films and ends up getting waaaay too fascinated with it. The Bots read a letter. Dr. F uses Frank's head to push the button. Stinger: A crewman faceplants following a fight with gators.

Other Stuff


  • Joey the "lemur" is actually a kinkajou. The kinkajou is a member of the raccoon family. The lemur is a primate. The two are easily confused with each other, as they have several traits in common. They both have big eyes that are common in primarily nocturnal animals. They also both have prehensile tails, and they both climb trees.


  • Upon seeing the opening credit "Lippert Productions", Joel and the Bots dredge up memories of other Lippert films they've been forced to watch, including Rocketship X-M and Lost Continent

Obscure References

  • "It IS the Waldorf salad though." -Joel after the crewmen have built their shelter.

Joel is referencing both a real life salad and the BBC program Fawlty Towers - in particular the episode Waldorf Salad.

  • "Arr Jim boy. Arr." -Crow during the rafting.

Crow quotes Long John Silver from Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island.

  • "If it bends it's funny, if it breaks it's not."

Crow lifts a line from Woody Allen's film Crimes and Misdemeanors.

  • "Hi, my name is Benjy and I'm a pan-dimensional being."

Joel paraphrases the introduction at AA meetings and references Douglas Adams's book Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

  • "Raymond Carver, must be a short!"

Raymond Carver was an American short story writer in the 1970's-1980's.

  • "He jumped right out of Paul's chest."

A reference to the chest burster scene in Alien.

  • "But first a recipe from my pal, Ed Herlihy."

Ed Herlihy was the prototypical news reel announcer; parodies of news reels are invariably done with Herlihy's distinctive, upbeat delivery.  He was the the announcer for the Kraft Television Theatre, one version of which was created to promote Cheese Whiz through recipes done on the show.

  • "Now where is that tall tower?"

An unusually dark reference: Charles Whitman shot 46 people, killing 14, from the central tower at the University of Texas at Austin on August 1, 1966.

  • "Whoa, trombone.  Must be seventy-six of them.  I think there's a hundred and ten cornets right behind."

"Seventy-Six Trombones" is a song from the the play The Music Man.   The first two lines read, "Seventy six trombones led the big parade/With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand".

Video releases



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