"My piece of wood! It died so that we might live."
  — Crow (as Caroline)

The Movie


Main article: Time of the Apes (film)

Trapped in a future where apes dominate the world, a boy, a girl and a young woman try to find a way back to their own time with the help of a human rebel.

The Episode

Host Segments

Baseball on the SOL

Prologue: The gang demonstrates why it's a bad idea to play ball on the SOL.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Joel invents the cellulite phone to keep dieters from ordering take-out. The Mads create a Miracle Baby Growth Formula that works a little too well.

Segment Two: Joel and the Bots examine "Why Doesn't Johnny Care?"

Miracle Baby Growth Formula

Segment Three: The gang does a surreal reenactment of the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Segment Four: Crow looks at the functional but futuristic fashions of the film.

Inherit the Wind (SOL Style)

Segment Five: The SOL gang sings "The Sandy Frank Song", letters are read, and the Miracle Growth Baby pushes the button.

Stinger: "Johnny, don't go, it's too dangerous." "I don't care!"

MST3K cast

Regular Cast

Guest Cast


  • This is the last time that Jim Mallon appears in the main writers list.
  • The baby is played by Eli Kenneth Mallon, Jim Mallon's newborn son.
  • This episode aired seventh during Turkey Day '91, and sixth during Turkey Day '94.


  • Joel says "You potched up the hole." 
  • Crow’s baseball glove falls off (you can see the duct tape) and Joel just rolls right with it.

Obscure References

  • "Hey, it's Jame Gumb's van... it puts the lotion on its skin"

Jame Gumb was the antagonist/serial killer from the 1991 movie Silence of the Lambs.

  • "I knew reading that George Will book would pay off!"

A reference to Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball by political commentator George Will.

  • "...you used Deal-A-Meal..."

Deal-A-Meal was a diet plan promoted by Richard Simmons that involved using a set of cards to plan meals.

  • "...with extra breakfast cereal, and some fruit bats..."

Items from a long list of strange foodstuffs recited in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (It's from the "Holy Hand Grenade" scene).

  • "Hey, where's B.J.?"

A reference to B.J. and the Bear, a TV series about a trucker and his pet chimpanzee that aired from 1979 to 1981.

  • "They must be 'recess monkeys!'"

Pun on the rhesus monkeys of Southeast Asia.

  • "It's about time!" "It's about space!"

Quoted from the theme song of It's About Time, a TV series that ran for one season in 1966-67.

  • "Play 'Misty' for me!"

Play Misty For Me was a 1971 thriller film starring Clint Eastwood as a radio DJ stalked by an obsessed fan.

  • "It keeps the hot side hot and the cold side cold!"

The advertising slogan for the McDLT, a sandwich that came in a cumbersome styrofoam container with two separate areas for the hot and cold ingredients (the selling point being that the consumer would combine the two when they were ready).

  • "How do it know?"

Follows the McDLT reference, the punchline of a joke about the operation of the thermos.

  • "Do NOT attempt to adjust your TV set...!"

Slight misquote to the opening line of the 60's sci-fi television series The Outer Limits. (Actual line: "There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture.")

  • "Its the Daleks!!" "Exterminate! Exterminate!" -Joel and Tom Servo when the 3 awaken from stasis.

Joel and Servo make fun of the fact that the freezer chambers resemble the Daleks from the "Doctor Who" series.

  • "Eh, whadda ya want kid... Chip, Ernie. Where the heck is Preston Sturges".

A reference to the 1960's sitcom My Three Sons, wherein characters would call our for their Uncle Charley, played by William Demarest (who would often reply with "Chip, Ernie"). The reference to Preston Sturges may be to Sturges having fathered three sons.

  • "Hello, hello, hello... Hello!"

This is a reference to the Three Stooges who would occasionally greet characters, or answer the telephone, with the same sing-song version of hello.

  • "It's a whole planet of Ron Perlmans!"

Ron Perlman is an American actor. When this episode came out, they were probably referring to his role as 'Vincent' (the Beast) in the series Beauty and the Beast .

  • "It's like a De Palma Film!"

Film director Brian De Palma [Carrie, Dressed to Kill, Scarface, Carlito's Way, The Untouchables] often used a 360-degree camera pan.

  • "I like you. I'm gonna kill you last."

This is a reference to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando, when he, in the role of John Matrix, tells Sully, the weaselly former Special Forces soldier, "I like you, Sully. That's why I'm going to kill you last". Later he tells Sully, "I lied," just before killing him.

  • "'Lancelot Link' alone set us back a hundred years!"

Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp was a children's TV show from the early 1970s, whose characters were played by trained chimpanzees overdubbed with human voices.

  • "Meanwhile in 'The Emerald Forest'... there's John Boorman"

A reference to the 1985 film The Emerald Forest in which a dam engineer searches for his son abducted by tribesmen in Brazil.

  • "Well look up there, Ned Beatty! Fat ol' hog..."

Tom is referring to the scene in the movie Deliverance where Ned Beatty's character is raped by a hillbilly (portrayed by Bill McKinney) while in the woods.

  • "Let's stay together!" "That's what Al Green said! I agree!"

Al Green is a Soul Singer from the 70's who produced many Soul Hit Singles, including the aforementioned Let's Stay Together.

  • "Prepare to meet Kali... in hell!"

Reference to the quote from Indiana Jones in the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, just before Indiana cuts the rope bridge on which Mola Ram is standing

  • "Hey! Hey! It's Ken Kesey and 'The Merry Pranksters!"

Referring to One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest author Ken Kesey and his group of avant-garde friends "The Merry Pranksters" who rode around cross-country in a school bus.

  • "Hi, I'm William Conrad from First Alert. Don't let this happen to you. Paper windows just aren't safe."

Reference to TV commercials from the late 1970s to early 1980s, starring William Conrad which featured home security products from First Alert.

  • "Because a mind like Johnny's is a terrible thing to unleash."

A parody of the United Negro College Fund's slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste".

  • "Tradition!"

Quoted from "Tradition", the opening song of the Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof.

  • "Oh great, it's a planet of owls!" "And they are not what they seem!"

A play on "The owls are not what they seem", a quote from Twin Peaks.

  • "Go go Godo watch him Go Go Go."

Slight parody of the theme song to 'Go Go Gophers' which was an animated segment from The Underdog Show that featured two Native American Gophers usually outwitting the US Army led by a coyote trying to get rid of them.

Wild at Heart was a 1990 film directed by David Lynch.

  • "The Invaders! In color."

The Invaders was a short-lived sci-fi TV series from the late 1960s.

  • "This music sounds like it's from 'Sketches of Spain'!"

"Sketches of Spain" is an historic jazz album by Miles Davis in conjunction with Gil Evans.

  • "Peter Noone!"

Peter Noone was the lead singer of Herman's Hermits.

  • "Now get in there and test that luggage!"

A reference to a 1970s luggage commercial that showed a gorilla trying to smash open a suitcase.

  • "Oh thank you, Hanuman. Can we eat now?"

Hanuman is a Hindu god with monkey-like features.

  • "Are those Monkey Boy jeans you're wearing?"

A reference to a series of Bugle Boy jeans commercials from the early 1990s.

  • "Give a hoot. Don't pollute."

A reference to the 1970s anti-littering public service announcements starring Woodsy Owl.

  • "Pop music, pop music..."

​Pop Muzik was a 1979 single from a person/band simply named 'M.'

  • "He looks like Teddy Ruxpin up close."

Teddy Ruxpin was a popular toy of the 1980s, a teddy bear that "talked" with the aid of special audio cassettes.

  • "Is he gonna say he spilled Nair on his face?"

Nair is a brand of hair remover.

  • "It's a Donovan video."

Donovan is a Scottish folk singer, songwriter and guitarist whose popularity peaked in the late 1960s.

  • "Neil Peart on drums."

Neil Peart is the drummer for the Canadian progressive rock band Rush. Note that Servo mispronounces his last name as "Pert", rather than "Peert".

  • "People try to put us d-d-down..."

A quote from the Who song "My Generation".

  • "Talk about...pop muzik!"

A quote from the M song "Pop Muzik".

  • "He really shocked the monkey!"

A reference to the Peter Gabriel song "Shock the Monkey".

  • "Oh! There's a guard!" "Elite Republican Guard!"

The Elite Republican Guard were Iraqi Forces who were under the direct orders of now deceased dictator Saddam Hussein. They were officially disbanded after the 2003 U.S.-Led Coalition in Iraq.

  • "Ricky Schroder in 'The Champ'."

A reference to the final ending death scene from the 1979 movie 'The Champ" in which Ricky Schroder cries after the death of boxer Billy Flynn (portrayed by Jon Voight).

  • "Zsa Zsa Gabor?" "No, she's still doing community service."

A reference to a 1989 incident in which Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer who had pulled her over.

  • "Home? Where my thoughts escape me? Home? Where I comb my face-y?"

Joel is paraphrasing the Simon and Garfunkel song "Homeward Bound".

  • "Brawny wants his shirt back."

A reference to the Brawny paper towels mascot.

  • "It's Don Knotts in 'The Shakiest Ape in the West'!"

A reference to the Western comedy movie The Shakiest Gun in the West.

  • "McHale's Navy goes to the 'Planet of the Apes" on today's matinee movie"

A reference to the 1960s TV sitcom McHale's Navy which portrayed a bumbling crew of a U.S. Navy PT boat.

  • "Hey, look! Caddyshack! Oh no wait...it's Pepe!"

Riffing on how Pepe's face markings resemble those of the gopher puppet that tormented Bill Murray in the 1980 golf comedy Caddyshack.

  • "Well it's about this time that the the old ape boys got themselves into a heap of trouble over at Cooter's Place. See, they were picking nits off each other and, well..."

A reference to the occasional voice overs from the 1980s TV show Dukes of Hazzard.

  • "My name is Inigo Montoya!"

A quote from the movie The Princess Bride directed by Rob Reiner.

  • "He's waiting for Godo, I think."

A reference to the play Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett.

  • "I'm gonna go rent 'Faces of Death'."

Faces of Death is an infamous exploitation film consisting of supposedly authentic footage of people being killed.

  • "Fashions by Issey Miyake!"

Issey Miyake is a Japanese fashion designer.

  • "It's an Obssession commercial! If I'm an ape, then pronounce me guilty." "Between apes and men lies Obsession."

A reference to commercials for Calvin Klein's fragrance Obsession, which were frequently mocked for their art film-like pretentiousness.

  • "Only seven days..." "In May!"

A reference to the 1960s political thriller Seven Days in May.

Video releases


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