"My piece of wood! It died so that we might live."
- Crow (as Caroline)

The Movie[]

Main article: Time of the Apes (film)


Trapped in a future where apes dominate the world, a boy, a girl and a young woman try to find a way back to their own time with the help of a human rebel.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]


Baseball on the SOL

Prologue: The gang demonstrates why it's a bad idea to play ball on the SOL.

MST3k 306 - Time of the Apes 2-20 screenshot

Gypsy rebukes Joel, Tom and Crow for damaging the satellite with baseball.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Gypsy repairs the damage and tells Joel, Tom, and Crow to not play ball in the satellite again, but they still do. Joel invents the cellulite phone to keep dieters from ordering take-out. The Mads create a Miracle Baby Growth Formula that works a little too well.

Segment Two: Joel and the Bots examine "Why Doesn't Johnny Care?"


Miracle Baby Growth Formula

Segment Three: The gang does a surreal reenactment of the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Segment Four: Crow looks at the functional but futuristic fashions of the film.


Inherit the Wind (SOL Style)

Segment Five: The SOL gang sings "The Sandy Frank Song", letters are read, and the Miracle Growth Baby pushes the button.

Stinger: "Johnny, don't go, it's too dangerous." "I don't care!"

MST3K cast[]

Regular Cast

Guest Cast


  • This is the last time that Jim Mallon appears in the main writers list.
  • The baby is played by Eli Kenneth Mallon, Jim Mallon's newborn son.
  • This episode aired seventh during Turkey Day '91, and sixth during Turkey Day '94.
  • A riff referring to a Cheese Phone is made. The Cheese Phone would make its debut as the Mads' invention in Episode #313.


  • Joel says "You potched up the hole." 
  • Crow’s baseball glove falls off (you can see the duct tape) and Joel just rolls right with it.

Obscure References[]

  • "Hey, it's Jame Gumb's van... it puts the lotion on its skin"

Jame Gumb is the antagonist/serial killer in the 1988 novel The Silence of the Lambs and its film adaptation.

  • "I knew reading that George Will book would pay off!"

A reference to Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball by political commentator George Will.

  • " used Deal-A-Meal..."

Deal-A-Meal was a diet plan promoted by Richard Simmons that involved using a set of cards to plan meals.

  • "...with extra breakfast cereal, and some fruit bats..."

Items from a long list of strange foodstuffs recited in Monty Python and the Holy Grail during the "Holy Hand Grenade" scene.

  • "Hey, where's B.J.?"

A reference to B.J. and the Bear, a TV series about a trucker and his pet chimpanzee that aired from 1979 to 1981.

  • "They must be 'recess monkeys!'"

Pun on the rhesus monkeys of Southeast Asia.

  • "It's about time!" "It's about space!"

Quoted from the theme song of It's About Time, a TV series that ran for one season in 1966-67.

  • "I love the sound of breaking glass." - "Especially when I'm lonely."

Quoting the first two lines from Nick Lowe's song "I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass".

  • "Play 'Misty' for me!"

Play Misty for Me is a 1971 thriller film starring Clint Eastwood as a radio DJ stalked by an obsessed fan.

  • "It keeps the hot side hot and the cold side cold!"

The advertising slogan for the McDonald's McDLT, a sandwich that came in a styrofoam container with two separate areas for the hot and cold ingredients (the selling point being that the consumer would combine the two when they were ready).

  • "How do it know?"

Follows the McDLT reference, the punchline of a joke about the operation of the thermos.

  • "Do NOT attempt to adjust your TV set...!"

Slight misquote to the opening line of the '60s sci-fi television series The Outer Limits: "There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture."

  • "Its the Daleks!!" "Exterminate! Exterminate!" -Joel and Tom Servo when the 3 awaken from stasis.

Joel and Servo make fun of the fact that the freezer chambers resemble the Daleks from the British TV series Doctor Who.

  • "Eh, whadda ya want kid... Chip, Ernie. Where the heck is Preston Sturges".

A reference to the 1960s sitcom My Three Sons, wherein characters would call our for their Uncle Charley, played by William Demarest (who would often reply with "Chip, Ernie"). The reference to Preston Sturge may be to Sturges having fathered three sons.

  • "Hello, hello, hello... Hello!"

This is a reference to the The Three Stooges, who would occasionally greet characters or answer the telephone with the same sing-song greeting. The greeting appeared before the theme song of films in which Joe Besser was the third Stooge.

  • "It's a whole planet of Ron Perlmans!"

Ron Perlman is an American actor. When this episode came out, they were probably referring to his role as 'Vincent' (the Beast) in the series Beauty and the Beast.

  • "It's like a De Palma Film!"

Film director Brian De Palma often used a 360-degree camera pan.

  • "I like you. I'm gonna kill you last."

This is a reference to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando, when he, in the role of John Matrix, tells Sully, the weaselly former Special Forces soldier, "I like you, Sully. That's why I'm going to kill you last". Later he tells Sully, "I lied," just before killing him.

  • "'Lancelot Link' alone set us back a hundred years!"

Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp is a children's TV show from the early 1970s, whose characters were played by trained chimpanzees overdubbed with human voices.

  • "Meanwhile in 'The Emerald Forest'... there's John Boorman"

A reference to the 1985 film The Emerald Forest in which a dam engineer searches for his son abducted by tribesmen in Brazil.

  • "Well look up there, Ned Beatty! Fat ol' hog..."

Tom is referring to the scene in the movie Deliverance where Ned Beatty's character is raped by a hillbilly (portrayed by Bill McKinney) while in the woods.

  • "Let's stay together!" "That's what Al Green said! I agree!"

Al Green is a soul singer from the 1970s who produced many hit singles, including the aforementioned "Let's Stay Together".

  • "Prepare to meet Kali... in hell!"

Reference to the quote from Indiana Jones in a scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, just before Indiana cuts the rope bridge on which Mola Ram is standing

  • "Hey! Hey! It's Ken Kesey and 'The Merry Pranksters!"

Referring to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest author Ken Kesey and his group of avant-garde friends "The Merry Pranksters" who rode around cross-country in a school bus.

  • "Hi, I'm William Conrad from First Alert. Don't let this happen to you. Paper windows just aren't safe."

Reference to TV commercials from the late 1970s to early 1980s starring William Conrad for home security products from First Alert.

  • "Because a mind like Johnny's is a terrible thing to unleash."

A parody of the United Negro College Fund's slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste".

  • "Tradition!"

Quoted from "Tradition", the opening song of the Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof.

  • "Oh great, it's a planet of owls!" "And they are not what they seem!"

A play on "The owls are not what they seem", a quote from Twin Peaks.

  • "Go go Godo watch him Go Go Go."

Slight parody of the theme song to Go Go Gophers, an animated segment from The Underdog Show about two Native American Gophers usually outwitting the US Army led by a coyote trying to get rid of them.

Wild at Heart is a 1990 film directed by David Lynch.

  • "The Invaders! In color."

The Invaders is a short-lived sci-fi TV series from the late 1960s.

  • "This music sounds like it's from 'Sketches of Spain'!"

"Sketches of Spain" is an historic jazz album by Miles Davis in conjunction with Gil Evans.

  • "Peter Noone!"

Peter Noone is an English singer best known for his stint as lead singer for of Herman's Hermits.

  • "Now get in there and test that luggage!"

A reference to a 1970s luggage commercial featuring a gorilla trying to smash open a suitcase.

  • "Oh thank you, Hanuman. Can we eat now?"

Hanuman is a Hindu god with monkey-like features.

  • "Are those Monkey Boy jeans you're wearing?"

A reference to a series of Bugle Boy jeans commercials from the early 1990s.

  • "Give a hoot. Don't pollute."

A reference to the 1970s anti-littering public service announcements starring Woodsy Owl.

  • "Pop music, pop music..."

"Pop Muzik" is a 1979 single by Robin Scott under the band name M.

  • "He looks like Teddy Ruxpin up close."

Teddy Ruxpin is a popular toy of the 1980s; a teddy bear that "talked" with the aid of special audio cassettes.

  • "Is he gonna say he spilled Nair on his face?"

Nair is a brand of hair remover.

  • "It's a Donovan video."

Donovan is a Scottish folk singer, songwriter and guitarist whose popularity peaked in the late 1960s.

  • "Neil Peart on drums."

Neil Peart was a Canadian drummer and lyricist, known for his work with the progressive rock band Rush. Note that Servo mispronounces his last name as "Pert", rather than "Peert".

  • "People try to put us d-d-down..."

A quote from the song "My Generation" by The Who. Singer Roger Daltrey was known to swing his mike by the cord in a manner similar to the rope being thrown in the scene.

  • "He really shocked the monkey!"

A reference to the Peter Gabriel song "Shock the Monkey".

  • "Oh! There's a guard!" "Elite Republican Guard!"

The Elite Republican Guard were Iraqi forces under the direct orders of now deceased dictator Saddam Hussein. They were officially disbanded after the 2003 U.S.-Led Coalition in Iraq.

  • "Ricky Schroder in The Champ."

A reference to the final scene from the 1979 movie The Champ in which Ricky Schroder cries after the death of boxer Billy Flynn (Jon Voight).

  • "Zsa Zsa Gabor?" "No, she's still doing community service."

A reference to a 1989 incident in which Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer who had pulled her over.

  • "Home? Where my thoughts escape me? Home? Where I comb my face-y?"

Joel is paraphrasing the Simon and Garfunkel song "Homeward Bound".

  • "Brawny wants his shirt back."

A reference to the Brawny paper towels mascot.

  • "It's Don Knotts in 'The Shakiest Ape in the West'!"

A reference to the Western comedy movie The Shakiest Gun in the West.

  • "McHale's Navy goes to the 'Planet of the Apes" on today's matinee movie"

A reference to the 1960s TV sitcom McHale's Navy which portrayed a bumbling crew of a U.S. Navy PT boat.

  • "Hey, look! Caddyshack! Oh no's Pepe!"

Riffing on how Pepe's face markings resemble those of the gopher puppet that tormented Bill Murray in the 1980 golf comedy Caddyshack.

  • "Well it's about this time that the the old ape boys got themselves into a heap of trouble over at Cooter's Place. See, they were picking nits off each other and, well..."

A reference to the occasional voice overs from the 1980s TV show The Dukes of Hazzard.

  • "My name is Inigo Montoya!"

A quote from the book and Template:The Princess Bride (film) The Princess Bride.

  • "He's waiting for Godo, I think."

A reference to the play Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett.

  • "I'm gonna go rent 'Faces of Death'."

Faces of Death is an infamous exploitation film consisting of supposedly authentic footage of people being killed.

  • "Darren McGavin!"

Darren McGavin was an American actor best known for his role as Ralphie's father in A Christmas Story. He also appeared in the experiment Hangar 18 during the KTMA season of Mst3k.

  • "Fashions by Issey Miyake!"

Issey Miyake is a Japanese fashion designer.

  • "It's an Obssession commercial! If I'm an ape, then pronounce me guilty." "Between apes and men lies Obsession."

A reference to commercials for Calvin Klein's fragrance Obsession, which were frequently mocked for their art film-like pretentiousness.

  • "Only seven days..." "In May!"

A reference to the 196y political thriller Seven Days in May.

Memorable Quotes[]

Gypsy: I thought I told you kids not to play ball in the house!

Video Releases[]