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MST3K 312 - Gamera vs Guiron

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“ (From the SOL version of "The Gamera Song"…)

Gamera! / Gamera! / Gamera is really neat! / Gamera is filled with meat! / We've been eating Gamera!

”
  — Joel, Crow, Servo


The Movie

Synopsis

Guiron.jpg

While scanning the skies through their telescope, two young boys, Akio and Tom, spy a spaceship descending into a nearby field. Stunned, bewildered, and bemused, they tell Akio's mother what they have seen, but she dismisses their story as childish nonsense. The next day, the two boys—with Akio's younger sister, Tomoko, in tow—bicycle to the site to investigate. Enthralled, Akio and Tom manage to steal into the spaceship. But then, without warning, the ship takes off, leaving Tomoko behind. It soars into outer space toward a field of asteroids, which sends the boys into panic. However, Gamera (obviously aware of the boys' plight) appears and clears a path for the ship through the asteroids. The spaceship, flying near the speed of light, leaves Gamera behind and transports the boys to an unknown planet, where it lands on the outskirts of an alien city. Suddenly, a silver "Space" Gyaos appears, menacing the ship and the two young boys. Just before the creature attacks, a second, bizarre monster—whose head resembles a ginzu knife—emerges from an underground lair and attacks the Space Gyaos. The Gyaos emits a beam that reflects off the new creature's blade-shaped head and cuts off its own leg. After a short battle, the knife-headed creature lunges and chops off one, then the other, of the Gyaos' wings. The creature cuts the helpless Gyaos' head off and brutally cuts the body into smaller pieces and then retreats back to its lair.

Spinning Gamera.jpg

Akio and Tom explore a portion of the alien city and meet the planet's only inhabitants: two beautiful women, named Barbella and Florbella, who explain that their planet, known as "Terra," orbits the sun directly opposite the earth, which is why it has never been discovered by earth's astronomers. Furthermore, Terra is facing extinction; not only is the planet growing old—and cold—the Space Gyaos have targeted it for occupation. The knife-headed monster, which the Terrans call "Guiron," is their last defense against the Space Gyaos.

Barbella and Florbella suddenly turn on Tom and Akio and put them into restraints. Using their super-technological devices, the alien women probe the boys' minds, in the process learning about Gamera and its soft spot for human children. It is revealed that the Terran women are cannibals that plan to feed on the boys' brains. In preparation to extract Akio's brain for their nourishment, the women shave the child's head. On a rescue mission, Gamera lands on Terra in search of the boys. The women deploy Guiron to attack the giant turtle. Guiron planned to sever Gamera in half, but Gamera grabs one of Guiron's front legs and chomps onto it. Guiron tried to shake off the towering tortoise. Wrapping his tail onto a monolith, Gamera throws Guiron into a canyon, causing his ginzu-head to be stuck. Gamera used his flamethrower on Guiron. Guiron used his shurikens to penetrate Gamera's cheeks. Gamera tried to heal his wounds by grabbing ice-like boulders. Guiron used his shurikens again. This time, Gamera used the longest boulder to ricochet the shurikens into Guiron's own body. Guiron trudges away while Gamera tumbles into a lake unconscious and on his back.

Guironfilm2.jpg

Tom manages to free Akio, but, in the process, unintentionally releases Guiron. No longer under the aliens' control, Guiron rampages through the Terran city — even attacking its own mistresses as they attempt to flee to Earth. The knife-headed creature slices the spacecraft in half, mortally injuring Barbella; Florbella kills Barbella as she relates that useless members of her society are euthanized. While Guiron attacks the base where the boys are imprisoned, Gamera awakes and renews his assault on the alien creature, ultimately ramming Guiron's head into the ground. Florbella attempts to flee on a rocket, but the vehicle is sliced in half by Guiron and she dies as a result. Gamera catches half of the rocket and spears Guiron into his shuriken base. Gamera uses his flamethrower on Guiron where the rocket was; the rocket explodes, severing Guiron in half. Gamera uses his flame energy to weld the alien spacecraft back together and carries the ship and the two boys back to Earth. On Earth, the boys are returned to their mothers and they all say goodbye to Gamera as he flies off into the night.

Gamera's hand.jpg

Information

See Episode K08

  • Space Gyaos was not to be featured in the film; a new kaiju was, but due to time and budget limitations, the original Gyaos prop from Gamera vs. Gyaos was simply painted silver.
  • In the AIP-TV US release, the scene where Space Gyaos is mutilated by Guiron was removed for its graphic content
  • The character name Joel and the Bots mishear as Cornjob is actually Kon-chan. Chan is one of the many honorific suffixes appended to Japanese names. The chan suffix implies a familiar relationship and is considered somewhat cutesy, so is typically used when addressing a best friend or younger relative. A child addressing a police officer in such a fashion would be regarded as highly impertinent, hence Officer Kondo's huffy reaction.
  • Movie Goof - The budding astronomer kids refer to the Earth as a "star" (Servo angrily keeps "reminding" them it's a planet!). This is likely due to a mistranslation of the Japanese word "hoshi", which can mean either a planet or a star (in the sense that they're both lights in the night sky).

The Episode

Host Segments

SOL on the life of Richard Burton

Prologue: Crow and Tom Servo play school lunch with real food. Servo is embarrassed by a note from his mom.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Joel creates a collapsible garbage can for campers; his idea for a collapsible port-a-potty meets with less acclaim. The Mads get turned on by sexy Rorschach centerfolds.

Segment Two: Joel and the Bots sing their own English version of the Gamera song from the movie.

Segment Three: Joel cuts Crow in half with Tom, who is dressed like Guiron, but only to have the skit being ruined when Crow comes out of the shower. He then tells Joel that someone was cut on line one. (Joel: "Oh, you wrecked the reveal!")

Joel cuts Crow in half

Segment Four: A long and meandering sketch about the life of Richard Burton, based on the fact that the American kid in the movie vaguely resembles him.

Segment Five: A "Japanese" version of the Gamera song, followed by the Mads enjoying tales and songs from Michael Feinstein.

Stinger: "What a monster!"


MST3K cast

Regular Cast

Michael Feinstein (Michael J. Nelson) appears in Deep 13

Guest Cast

Notes

  • Unusual credits: The instrumental version of Michael Feinstein's version of the Gamera theme is played instead of "Mighty Science Theater".
  • This episode aired fourteenth during Turkey Day '92.
  • The birth name of Richard Burton which Joel and the Bots can't recall is Richard Walter Jenkins Jr.

Callbacks

Goofs

  • During the Richard Burton tribute when Joel drops some ice into a glass, one of the cubes misses.

Running Jokes

  • It's repeatedly noted that Tom from the film resembles a young Richard Burton. They also frequently allude to Burton's alcoholism troubles.
  • Gamera's resemblance to Karl Malden (especially his nose) is a Running Gag throughout all the Gamera episodes.
  • "Hello! Thank you!" - Joel and the 'Bots hit the ground running with that infamous scene. (Thank you!), and the jokes continue all the way through to the Gamera Vs Zigra episode. (Hello!) Bonus points for the riff of the end of the scene, when Tomoko appears in the back seat while Tom's mother is driving away.
    • Joel: (as Tomoko, with Larynx Dissonance) "Shut up and keep driving! And thank you!"
    • Servo: "Hello!"
  • "What is the fascination with traffic accidents?!"
  • The crew gets a lot of mileage out of the aliens in a Japanese film having a thick Texan accent.

Obscure References

  • "Dr. Shiksa?"

"Shiksa" is a Yiddish word referring to a non-Jewish woman.

  • "Am I not Mom... or are we Devo?"

A reference to Devo's debut album, Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!. The album's name is a reference to lyrics of the song Jocko Homo which is featured on the album.

Spin Art was a children's toy that allowed kids to splash paint on a spinning canvas, creating works of art and occasionally a big mess.

  • "'Something funny flying'? Sebastian Cabot?"

The phrase in the movie is a coincidental callback to the host segment in Rocketship X-M where the bots are quizzed on things that are funny when flying.

  • Take me "to the river. Push me in the water."

A slight misquote of lyrics from Al Green's song "Take Me to the River"

  • "Don't start with me, Martha." "Let's have a bottle of scotch."

The first quote is from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? In the 1966 film adaptation, George is played by Richard Burton, continuing the running joke that the American kid in the movie resembles him. The second quote references Burton's struggles with alcoholism.

  • "That's no ordinary rabbit! Look at the bones!"

A reference to Tim the Enchanter from the comedy classic Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

  • "Brother! There's far too many of us dying!"

A reference to the Marvin Gaye song "What's Going On?"

  • "Wait, I said 'lunch', not 'launch'!"

A quote from the opening sequence of the Sid and Marty Krofft TV show Far Out Space Nuts.

Refers to an announcement shown at the General Cinemas chain that featured popcorn and candy flying through space, much like the asteroids in the shot.

  • "Mother!" "I just killed a man!"

A reference to the Queen song "Bohemian Rhapsody".

  • "I'll show her. I'm gonna grow up to break up the Beatles!"

A reference to Yoko Ono and rumors that her and John Lennon's relationship led to the band's break-up.

  • "What is it, Martha?"

Another reference to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, starring Richard Burton.

  • "Looks like a set from 'Brazil'!"

Brazil was a 1985 dystopian science fiction film directed by Terry Gilliam. Most of the sets were stark and industrial.

  • "Yeah, it used to be called *Old* Jack City!"

A reference to the 1991 movie New Jack City.

  • "Like a good neighbor, Gamera is there!"

A parody of an advertising jingle for the State Farm insurance company.

  • "Donuts and gray water"


Although the 'water' in the glasses is gray, 'gray water' refers to water that is clean enough to be released by waste water treatment plants. There are other references to gray water in the series.

  • "I'll paint any child for $49.99!"

Earl Scheib Paint & Body promised to paint "any car, any color, for $[amount]. No ups, no extras." The quality was questionable.

MST3K_312_Promo

MST3K 312 Promo

The title of an album by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.

  • "Shave and lobotomy. Two bits."

"Shave and a Haircut" and the associated response "two bits" is a 7-note musical call-and-response popularly used at the end of a musical performance, usually for comic effect. Often used as a door knock.

  • "You look kinda like Henry!"

Henry is a long-running comic strip about a young boy who doesn't appear to have any hair.

  • "Suddenly, it's 'Gray Lady Down'!"

Gray Lady Down was a 1978 disaster movie starring Charlton Heston.

  • "The Invaders! In color."

The Invaders was a short-lived sci-fi TV series from the late 1960s.

  • "Just like a dago. Bringing a knife to a gunfight!"

Servo is imitating Sean Connery in The Untouchables.

  • "Why don't you just f-f-fade away?"

Crow is quoting the Who song "My Generation".

  • Stopping at Amityville, Copiague, Lyndhurst, Babylon, change in Jamaica...

These are stops on the Long Island Railroad in New York.

Video releases

MST3K DVD Cover

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