|“|| (Carrie drones on while Max listens wearily)
You know you're boring when you're boring a Van Patten.
In this Master Ninja "movie," the first half deals with the two Ninjas – master (Lee Van Cleef) and apprentice (Timothy Van Patten) – helping a cute country girl (Crystal Bernard of Wings) form a union at her warehouse and fight off the corrupt owners.
The second segment has the two helping rescue another cute girl (the daughter of a Senator) who is being held hostage by terrorists. The duo gets additional help (including from George Lazenby) to defeat the terrorists and rescue the hostages.
See Episode 322
Segment One (Invention Exchange): The Mads present their Conveyor-belt Buffet, where the food moves too fast for the patron (Frank) to eat it. The similarity to a famous episode of I Love Lucy is noted. Joel and the Bots demonstrate Gerbilsphere 2, a supposedly self-sustaining gerbil habitat which is revealed to have some flaws.
Segment Two: The Bots show off their ideas for custom vans.
Segment Three: Crow as General Timothy Van Patton.Segment Four: Tom explains how different detectives (and other crime-fighting type characters) should have pets that are suited to them.
Segment Five: The SOL crew plays with a Lee Van Cleef foam core dress up doll and reads a letter from a film student. TV's Frank plead the viewers to petition ABC for the return of The Second Hundred Years.
Stinger: Lee Van Cleef looks smug with a hamster.
- Best Brains had reportedly considered doing a third Master Ninja "film" as the Season 6 finale but used Samson vs The Vampire Women instead as a gesture to departing cast member Frank Conniff.
- This episode was ranked #97 among backers of the Bring Back MST3K Kickstarter in the Top 100 Poll.
- "Charles Moffet: feared not" (Ring of Terror)
- "Ator! No!" (Cave Dwellers)
- "Ya got me!" (Catalina Caper)
- "McCloud" (Pod People).
- "There's no Kosugi like Sho Kosugi, there's no Kosugi I know."
- "Do not take the green acid!"
A misquote ("Do not take the brown acid") of an announcement made at the Woodstock music festival.
- "Hey look on the wall, it's Milton Berle's netted slingshot briefs."
A reference to the notorious rumor that popular television comedian Milton Berle was exceptionally well-endowed in terms of his masculine equipment.
- "You're very nosy, kitty kat. You know what we do to nosy people?"
A reference to a famous scene in the movie Chinatown, in which Jake Gittes (played by Jack Nicholson) gets his nose sliced open with a switchblade by a thug played by director Roman Polanski.
- "Why me? Why me all the time?"
- "I'm the guy with the snake on my face!"
- "What's this?! The end of Master Ninja?! Tune in tomorrow: same ninja time! Same ninja station!" "Is it curtains for Van Patton?"
- "Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane! Cost: no one can say."
Reference to Citizen Kane.
- "She threw on a dashiki and blew my ninja mind."
Tom is saying a variation on a line from the trailer from the 1970s blaxploitation film Ghetto Freaks. The original line refers to an incident in which "...a freaked-out white chick in a dashiki blew his mind" (see also The Leech Woman).
- "Before you put your coats on the top peg."
A quote from the "Sex Education" scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
- "You're in it now, up to your neck!"
- "Michael, I need to be on the set of St. Elsewhere by 11."
- "No tears and no hearts breaking, no remorse."
A quote from the chorus of the Steely Dan song "Haitian Divorce".
- "He's a man with a plan, he's a ninja!..."
Tom sings an extended riff on the song "Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow".
- Commercially released on DVD by Shout! Factory in March 2011 as part of Volume XX, a 4-disc set along with Project Moon Base, Master Ninja I, and The Magic Voyage of Sinbad.
- The DVD includes the Tom Servo vs. Tom Servo Panel at DragonCon 2010.
- Available for rent or purchase on Amazon's streaming service.
|preceded by: Season 2||MST3K Season 3||followed by: Season 4|
|1991 - 1992|
|301||Cave Dwellers||1991-06-01||309||The Amazing Colossal Man||1991-08-03||317||The Saga of the Viking Women...||1991-10-26|
|302||Gamera||1991-06-08||310||Fugitive Alien||1991-08-17||318||Star Force: Fugitive Alien II||1991-11-16|
|303||Pod People||1991-06-08||311||It Conquered the World||1991-08-24||319||War of the Colossal Beast||1991-11-30|
|304||Gamera vs Barugon||1991-06-22||312||Gamera vs Guiron||1991-09-07||320||The Unearthly||1991-12-14|
|305||Stranded in Space||1991-06-29||313||Earth vs the Spider||1991-09-14||321||Santa Claus Conquers/Martians||1991-12-21|
|306||Time of the Apes||1991-07-13||314||Mighty Jack||1991-09-21||322||Master Ninja I||1992-01-11|
|307||Daddy-O (episode)||1991-07-20||315||Teenage Cave Man||1991-11-09||323||The Castle of Fu Manchu||1992-01-18|
|308||Gamera vs Gaos||1991-07-27||316||Gamera vs Zigra||1991-10-19||324||Master Ninja II||1992-01-25|