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Well Jimmy Smits, your movie today is roasted fresh from the kitchens of Bert I. Gordon. It's a fetid little piece of tripe featuring sword and sorcery, Gary Lockwood and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone.
  — Dr. Forrester


The Movie

Main article: The Magic Sword (film)

Synopsis

A brave young knight sets out to rescue a kidnapped princess, aided by magical accoutrements and 6 knights from around Europe. The group faces many perils, including an evil wizard and treachery from within.

The Episode

Host Segments

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Crow's Estelle Winwood song

Prologue: Joel is a cheesy caricature artist. Gypsy is disgusted, because he draws her nude. Of course, as he points out, all of the Bots are nude.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): The Bots criticize Joel's caricatures. Joel shows off his Big Gulp Berets, an arty take on the beer can caps popular in trailer parks everywhere. Frank demos the Mads' Designer Biohazard Absorbent Throw Pillows with a cute skit. Alas, he gets some biohazard material on him in the process.

Segment Two: The SOL crew puts on a commercial for Rathbone's Doggie Biscuits, with Crow and Servo as the dogs and Joel as their trainer.

Segment Three: Joel and the Bots don medieval apparel for a festive medieval pageant. Crow is a knight, Gypsy is a lady-in-waiting (who doubles as a unicorn), and Joel is a happy king. Alas, Tom the serf wants to be too historically accurate and wrecks the whole thing.

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Rathbone's Doggie Biscuits

Segment Four: Crow has become enamored of Estelle Winwood. As he sings about his new-found love, Tom (mockingly) and Joel (supportively) sing along.

Segment Five: Joel and the Bots, in the vein of George Carlin, discuss different words you can’t say on TV. They read a letter. In Deep 13, Frank really has been exposed to way too much bio-hazardous material.

Stinger: The witch's two-headed assistant looks on in confusion.

Notes

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Joel and the Bots go medieval

  • Throughout the episode, the Brains pronounce the name of actor Basil Rathbone as "BAY-zil". The more traditional pronunciation is "BAH-zil", with "BAY-zil" being the name of a popular spice.
  • A scene in which Helene escapes and tries to help Lodac's shrunken prisoners was edited out of the MST3K version.
  • “Ode on Estelle” was written and arranged by Michael J. Nelson and Paul Chaplin.
  • While reading the letter, Joel actually says “keep circulating the tapes,” the only time he ever did on the show.
  • This episode aired tenth during Turkey Day '92.
  • In 2015, The Magic Sword became a Rifftrax presentation as well.

Callbacks

Obscure References

  • "Answer unclear, ask again later."
One of the answers from a Magic 8-Ball toy.
  • "Open the pod bay doors, Hal."
Gary Lockwood later starred in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the film from which this line comes.
  • "You ain't woman enough to take my man!"
A quote from the Loretta Lynn song "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man".
  • "You'll risk the Seven Curses?" "I love that Carlin bit!"
Comedian George Carlin did a famous routine revolving around seven profane words whose use on broadcast television is forbidden by the FCC.
  • "She has more stories about her relatives than Gabe Kaplan."
Gabe Kaplan played Mr. Kotter in Welcome Back, Kotter. In each episode, he would tell a joke involving one of his relatives.
  • "Sir Branton" "Sir FRAMPTON!?"
Upon hearing Sir Branton's name Joel's riff reflects how it sounds like the name of rock musician Peter Frampton
  • "Teddy Ruxpin, NO!!!"
Teddy Ruxpin was a popular toy of the 1980s, a teddy bear that "talked" with the aid of special audio cassettes.
  • "The Mists of Avalon!"
The Mists of Avalon is a novel by Marion Zimmer Bradley that re-told the Camelot legend.
  • "I just realized we're in The Ghost and Mr. Chicken!"
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken was a 1966 movie starring Don Knotts in which Knotts faced an evening of terror in a supposedly haunted house.
  • "It's becoming the Green Ghost game."
Green Ghost was a glow-in-the-dark board game from the 1960s.
  • "Bad Zippy! No!"
A reference to the comic strip Zippy the Pinhead.
  • "The burning! The itching! Try Cruex!"
Cruex is a brand of jock itch spray.
  • "Drizzil Drazzil Drozzil Drone, time for these two to come home!"
MST3K 411 Promos

MST3K 411 Promos

Joel is quoting Mr. Wizard from the Tudor Turtle cartoons, from the show King Leonardo and his Short Subjects.
  • "Now is she doing her Fay Wray or Jessica Lange?"
Princess Helene is being offered up to the dragon in the same fashion as Anne Darrow was offered up to the giant ape King Kong. The riff mentions two actresses who played Anne in different versions of King Kong: Fay Wray from the 1933 version and Jessica Lange from the 1976 version.
  • "The secret compartment of the ring I fill with a Proton Super Energy Pill!"
The animated hero Underdog spoke in rhyming couplets like this and occasionally used a Super Energy Pill to activate his powers. Joel seems to be combining this reference with the "Proton Energy Pill" which gave the animated hero Roger Ramjet his strength.
  • "He sounds like Godzilla!"
The dragon's roar is being compared to the trademark roar of Godzilla; the giant movie monster who starred in two previous experiments. (Godzilla vs. Megalon and Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster.)
The roar also bears a striking resemblance to the engine roar of an Imperial TIE Fighter from the Star Wars franchise.
  • "The year of the cat..."
A quote from the Al Stewart song "Year of the Cat".

Video releases

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