MST3K 412 - Hercules and the Captive Women

The Movie

Synopsis

When strange atmospheric events occur in the disunited city states of Ancient Greece, a forum debates what action to take. As there is no agreement, Androcles King of Thebes seeks the assistance of his friend, the legendary Hercules. Hercules, now married to Deianira with a son named Hylas, does not wish to leave the comfort of his family, though Hylas is keen for adventure.

Androcles takes matters into his own hands by drugging and kidnapping Hercules and placing him aboard a ship manned by a disreputable collection of former slaves and criminals. The only members of the expedition Androcles can trust are his sidekick, Timoteo the dwarf and Hylas who has to hide below deck from Hercules lest he face his wrath for leaving home. Rather than being angry, Hercules merely lazes away on deck without offering any assistance. When the supply of fresh water is sabotaged, the ship lands on an island to replenish their supply. The crew mutinies by attacking Androcles but Hercules turns the tide. The crew is left stranded on the island, however, Hercules discovers Hylas on board. Continuing their voyage, a storm wrecks the ship and separates all of them. Hercules sees a vision of Androcles begging for his help. Coming ashore on a mist-shrouded island he sees a woman held captive: not only chained to a cliff but gradually becoming a part of the rock formation. When he rescues her he has to fight Proteus a god able to change form into various creatures. Defeating Proteus, Hercules discovers the woman he rescued is Princess Ismene, daughter of Antinea, the Queen of Atlantis, where he has landed. Hercules soon discovers his son Hylas and Timoteo and bring the rescued Princess to Antinea.

Though welcomed at first, Ismene discovers that she has been selected for sacrifice: a prophecy foretells that if she is not killed Atlantis and its population will be destroyed. The death of Proteus has already stripped Atlantis of its protective fog that keeps it unseen by the outside world. Ismene is recaptured and taken for execution. Antinea denies all knowledge of Androcles; his memory has been taken away and he is hidden from his friends. During a celebration, Hercules discovers that children are selected and taken away from their parents for an unknown reason. Things fall into place when Hercules and his companions not only rescue Ismene but a large group of prisoners in a pit. The rescued prisoners explain that children are taken to a special stone that either transforms them either into blonde supermen or disfigures the weak ones who are then placed in the pit. A priest explains that the stone is made from the blood of Uranus. The power of Uranus’s stone has created Antinea an invincible army of black-uniformed blonde supermen with which she plans to conquer the world.

Information

• The soundtrack of the American release contains several short passages from the score of Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), in particular the easily recognizable three-note "Creature theme".
• This is said to be the only "Hercules" movie filmed in 70mm.

The Episode

Host Segments

Prologue: Gypsy wants to join the boys in watching the movie. Crow and Tom are extremely leery.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): The Mads have continued their Deep 13 day care, and as a result, TV's Frank has developed the Lawn Baby, a lawnmower/baby stroller that is an accident waiting to happen. A radiant Joel demonstrates the Wombmate, a device that allows babies to listen to music in utero.

Segment Two: Joel, Tom, and Crow enjoy some good-natured brawling as drawn from the film. They're even good-natured after they've been patched up.

Segment Three: Crow’s history report on Hercules is unnecessarily harsh.

Segment Four: The Bots' Hercules action figure is rather inactive, constantly repeating, "I'm so sleepy, I can barely keep my eyes open." Joel faints when the toy gives a prescient response to Joel's attempts to cheer the bots up again.

Segment Five: Joel and the bots bid the Hercules movies adieu (for now, anyway). They read a letter. Back in Deep 13, Frank is being chased by his invention, and it ends as badly as one would expect.

Stinger: "Hercules!", followed by Herc's freaky expression.

Trivia

• Goof: Joel says “Zatharatu” when he means to say Zarathustra.
• Nathan Devery finished up his internship with this episode.

Callbacks

• “Hurry, Diana!” (Undersea Kingdom)
• Frank sings “I sing whenever I sing…” (The Giant Gila Monster)
• “Rock Candy Baby” (Daddy-O)

Obscure References

• "Bonanza!" "And if that map burns, it'll be a Greece fire!"

"Bonanza" was a 1960s TV western whose opening credits began with a burning map of the Ponderosa Ranch.

• "Things fall apart."

A line from the poem "The Second Coming" by W.B. Yeats; the bots recite the next two lines as well.

• "Atlantis? That's where the Superstation comes from!"

Cable channel TBS, which at the time billed itself as "the Superstation," is based in Atlanta, GA.

• "Come back to Atlantis. Make it Atlantis again, mon!"

A parody of "Come back to Jamaica", an advertising slogan used to promote Jamaican tourism during the 1980s.

• "Everything is beautiful in the valley."

A reference to the song "At the Ballet" from the musical A Chorus Line.

• "Michael Gross, no!"

Michael Gross is an actor best known for his roles in the TV series "Family Ties" & the Tremors film series.

• "John!" "Marsha!" "Oh, John!" "Oh, Marsha!"

A reference to a piece by comedian Stan Freberg that mocked melodramatic radio soap operas: the dialogue consisted of two characters just repeating the other's name over and over.

• "Everybody must get stoned!"

I'm just posting this to take the opportunity to point out that the name of that Bob Dylan song is "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 ", not "Everybody Must Get Stoned" as everyone on Napster used to think back in the day.

• "We love you Conrad, Oh yes we do."

After the queen's brutal massacre of the slaves, Joel and the Robots sing a sad, slower version of the usually cheery and bright song, We Love You Conrad, from the popular musical Bye Bye Birdie, alongside its 1963 movie counterpart.

• "Except for Chopper, he's the funny one!"

There are a variety of episodes where Joel or one of the bots refers to a funny guy named "Chopper". The closest that fans of the show have come to determining the origin of the joke is that it's a reference to a toy manufacturer named Schaper, whose TV commercials featured the tagline "Schaper always leaves you laughing!" which was quoted in The Phantom Creeps. It may be that the writers mis-remembered the origin of the quote and mispronounced the name into the bargain, and it turned into a running joke that made little sense in the same manner as the "I thought you were Dale " in-joke.

• "James Broilin in The Car."

A reference to a notoriously bad 1977 movie about a car that comes alive and starts killing people.

• "I think this is the same ramp where Deep Throat used to meet Bob Woodward."

While covering Watergate, Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward—along with his partner, Carl Bernstein—met their source, Deep Throat (who was eventually revealed to be Associate FBI Director Mark Felt) in an underground parking garage.

Video releases

• Commercially released on DVD by Shout! Factory in March 2014 as part of Volume XXIX, a 4-disc set along with Untamed Youth, The Thing That Couldn't Die, and The Pumaman.
  • The DVD includes an introduction by Joel Hodgson, MST3K Artist in Residence: Steve Vance, and The Posters of MST3K.