I killed that fat barkeep!

The Short


Jessie loves her husband Phil, who is in love with another woman - who is engaged to another man - so Jessie decides to host a painfully awkward engagement party.


The Movie


The Beatniks

In 1960 Los Angeles, petty criminal Eddie Crane (Tony Travis) leads a pack of hoodlums who rob mom-and-pop stores for drinking money, then decamp to a small diner to squabble over their ill-gotten spoils. Eddie is cynical and he seems to harbor a grudge against the world.

When talent agent Harry Bayliss (Charles Delaney) hears Eddie sing, he wants to sign him to a recording contract. Eddie is initially disinterested, but when the potential of large sums of money is mentioned, Eddie's girlfriend Iris urges him to accept the proposition.

Eddie and his friends arrive at Bayliss' office. Eddie auditions for one of Bayliss' business contacts and is soon on his way to fame and fortune. Bayliss' secretary Helen Tracy takes Eddie shopping for new clothes and they form a bond over lunch. Eddie performs on television and garners an enthusiastic response from viewers.

Eddie quickly becomes a success and develops a closer romantic relationship with Helen. He begins to sense the existence of a better world and starts to take a poorer view of his buddies.

The Beatniks

Bayliss installs Eddie and his friends in a local hotel while Eddie awaits the next step in his career. The group celebrates by drinking, dancing, playing loud music and damaging the furniture. When the hotel manager complains, Eddie's cruel friend Mooney (Peter Breck) amuses himself by tormenting him.

As Eddie's star rises, Mooney becomes more violent and determined to keep Eddie in his place - with the gang. When Mooney shoots a bartender during a robbery, Eddie despairs. He telephones Helen and tells her he's not going to continue in show business. When she tries to talk him out of it and declares her love for him, he rebukes her. Eddie accused Helen of being motivated by greed, but he quickly regrets it and realizes that he needs to apologize.

At Helen's insistence, Bayliss goes to the hotel room to find out what the problem is with Eddie's friends. The increasingly unstable Mooney assaults Bayliss with a straight razor and seriously injures him. Bayliss is taken to the hospital and the police begin a manhunt for Eddie, suspecting that he is the culprit.

Eddie goes looking for Mooney, and a confrontation ensues. When the police arrive, Eddie cooperates and confesses his involvement. His show business career may be delayed (or ended entirely), but he clears his conscience and reconciles with Helen.


  • This is the first and only directorial effort from voice actor Paul Frees, who can be heard introducing Eddie when he makes his first TV appearance and also as the voice of the police detective in the hospital.
  • The film was shot in 1958 under the title Sideburns and Sympathy.
  • Charles Delaney (who played Harry Bayliss) passed away before the film was released.
  • In addition to producing other teen exploitation films (including Daddy-O), producer Elmer Carl Rhodan Jr. was the son of the owner of Midwestern Commonwealth Theater chain.

The Episode

Host Segments

Pocket pool

Prologue: Joel cruelly dominates the Bots in a painful game of rock-paper-scissors until Gypsy crushes Joel in revenge.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Everyone recovers from their injuries received in the prologue. The Mads have developed Good Luck Troll Costumes, based on the plastic troll dolls that were popular in the 1990's, complete with exposed plastic butts. Joel demonstrates his literal take on Pocket Pool, though he denies Tom Servo the use of the bridge.

Segment Two: According to Joel and the Bots, the people in this movie aren't really beatniks. To help the folks at home, they list ways to tell if you aren't a beatnik.

Either you are or you aren't a beatnik

Segment Three: The Bots hold a slumber party, and discuss dreamy Tony Travis from the movie. It turns out he and Joel went to high school together. Joel places a phone call to Tony, which is less than inspiring. The 'Bots then shift their affections to Mooney.

Segment Four: Servo stars in a dramatization of the life of a 1950’s rock star inspired by the movie, from anonymity to overnight stardom to pathetic has-been.

Good Luck Troll Costumes

Segment Five: Crow goes on a rampage like Mooney and menaces Gypsy. Joel reads a letter, and he and Tom debate if "dickweed" is a swear word. The Mads find their costumes less than ideal for pushing the button.

Stinger: Mooney spasms and throws his gun.

MST3K cast

Regular cast

Guest cast


  • This episode debuted as the first episode of Turkey Day '92.
  • Mary Jo Pehl provides the voice of Magic Voice for the first time, a role she would remain in for the rest of the Comedy Central years.
  • According to The Amazing Colossal Episode Guide Mooney's line "I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!" is one of Best Brains' all-time favorite lines.
  • The comic Tom is reading in the fourth segment is Superman Vol 2. #53 which has a cover date of March 1991 (meaning it was most likely in stores in December of 1990 or January of 1991).


  • "Rock candy baby you’re mine, yeah!" (Daddy-O)

Obscure References

  • "I think you need to work on your English, Willie Mosconi."

Willie Mosconi was a professional billiards player. He won the World Straight Pool Championship 15 times in a row from 1941 to 1957.

  • "I have seen the best guys of my emanation deployed by badness."

Frank is misquoting the Allen Ginsberg poem "Howl".

  • "Sentiment?" "Yes, it settles at the bottom of the cake."

Tom is mistaking the word "sentiment" for "sediment", which is a term for material such as sand or silt that is broken down by processes of weathering and erosion, and is subsequently transported by the action of wind, water, or ice or by the force of gravity acting on the particles. It is often used as a general term for particulate matter that settles at the bottom of a liquid.

  • "Phil never eats my plastic cake at home..."

In a commercial for Yuban coffee from the 1970s, a wife notices that her husband is enjoying a second cup of coffee during an evening out, and wonders why he never has a second cup at home (the implication being that the coffee she makes at home is not good as the Yuban coffee that her husband is currently enjoying).

  • "Clamp... Sponge... Suture..."

These are tools that a doctor might request while performing surgery.

  • "I hate those B-Bs... Non-pareils... Whatever you call 'em..."

Non-pareils are a decorative confectionery of tiny balls made with sugar and starch. "B-Bs" could refer to a type of dragée, another confection that is often in the form of small metallic silver balls.

  • "...Mrs. Harvey." "She's a big rabbit!"

A reference to the 1944 stage play Harvey, (which was subsequently made into a feature film starring Jimmy Stewart) in which the main character is a man with a six-foot-tall rabbit named Harvey for an imaginary friend.

  • "Thanks for the laughs, sorry I'm gonna miss out on the Russian Roulette."

Russian Roulette is a "game" played with a revolver that has a bullet in only one of the chambers. "Players" take turns spinning the chamber then holding the gun to their head and pulling the trigger, risking killing themselves. In the 1978 film The Deer Hunter, American POWs were forced to play the game while their Vietnamese captors bet on the outcome.

  • "E-O eleven..."

From the theme song to the original version of Ocean's 11.

  • "Let's do some crimes!"

A quote from the 1984 movie Repo Man. Watch the scene here.

  • "They robbed Paul Wellstone!"

Paul Wellstone was a Senator from Minnesota, serving from 1991 until his death in a plane crash in 2002.

  • "Travis Bickle?!" "Sometimes I wish a rain would come and wash away all the scum of the city."

Travis Bickle was the title character in the 1976 film Taxi Driver (which is also the source of the "rain" line).

  • "Havin' a ball/With a crazy chick..." "Who?  Francis Farmer?"

The actress Frances Farmer struggled with mental illness throughout her life, and was allegedly lobotomized during one of her institutionalizations.

  • "Get in touch with Morrissey..." "... And tell him to stop crying."

A reference to singer Morrissey, known for his depressing songs.

  • "Hey, I was watching She's the Sheriff!"

She's the Sheriff is a TV sitcom that aired in first-run syndication from 1987 to 1989 that starred Suzanne Somers.

  • "I was thinkin' we could go down there, grab us some quick loot, go down to Mexico and be banditos!" "Yeah and we can then ride Yoshi to the Mushroom Kingdom."

A riff playing off of Mooney's complete detachment from reality. In video games, Yoshi is the friendly green dinosaur-ish creature which the Super Mario Brothers would occasionally ride. When this episode aired, Yoshi had recently made his debut in Super Mario World (which takes place in Dinosaur Land rather than the Mushroom Kingdom).

  • "Hey, I found a wheat penny!"

The US 1 cent coin had an image of stalks of wheat on its reverse side from 1909 until 1958 (so it probably wouldn't have been as impressive to find a wheat penny at the time the movie was made as it would be now).

  • "Bernardo, No!"

Bernardo was the hot-headed brother of Maria who tried to kill her lover Tony in the musical West Side Story.

Video releases

MST3K DVD cover

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