"Would you folks break it up? Your party’s depressing everyone in the building."

The Short



A few scenes from the soap opera General Hospital. The awkward engagement party dissolves when the groom-to-be is called away for a hospital emergency. Cynthia and Phil acknowledge their feelings for each other.


The Movie


Rocky Jones attempts to save the inhabitants of a planet about to collide with a moon. The empress of the planet, however, is suspicious. While Rocky and his crew finally succeed in evacuating the planet in time, Cleolanta's pride and vanity are a major hindrance.

However, as the last of the planet's population leaves, Cleolanta arrogantly declares that she will stay behind. Her assistant, however, refuses to allow this, and literally picks her up and carries her on board Rocky's own ship. She watches in despair as the moon crashes into her planet, the two bodies destroying one another instantly. As the ship heads for the new home that has been chosen for her people, Cleolanta finally realizes that she had been wrong, and that, as one of her underlings has stated, it is the people that make a nation, not the land itself.

Cleolanta finally reconciles with Rocky and his crew, and sincerely thanks them for their efforts in her behalf and that of her people. This marks the end of the character Cleolanta in the Rocky Jones series. Subsequent episodes contain a new villain.


  • Not a feature film but a three-part episode from the TV series Rocky Jones, Space Ranger edited together and released as a feature. [1]
  • The same 1950's TV series that had been lampooned in a previous experiment Manhunt in Space.
  • Dr. Forrester, Joel and the Bots repeatedly refer to the feature as "Crash of the Moons", although the official title lacks the article "the". This is likely due to "the" being added to the title on video releases of this feature over the years. The characters within the movie itself repeatedly refer to the pending disaster as "the crash of moons".

The Episode

Host Segments

Dr. F's frosting toothpaste

Prologue: Crow attempts to earn money by selling Grit but mistakenly uses actual grit. Joel and Tom admonish Crow about some of his previous moneymaking schemes including selling turkey pizzas. Crow tries once more by asking Joel about his insurance needs.

Invention Exchange (Segment One): Dr. F has invented a frosting toothpaste that creates cavities. Joel demonstrates the Rock-N-Wreck guitar for garage musicians who can't afford to dramatically destroy their instruments.

"The Gypsy Moons"

Segment Two: Crow and Tom vie for Gypsy's affections with their 1920's ditty "The Gypsy Moons".

Segment Three: Joel and the Bots send benevolent "Bannergrams" via fax to various people, all of whom live in Denver.

Segment Four: Crow introduces his spec script teleplay based on Crash of Moons and Star Trek. Joel and the Bots do a read-through and give notes.

The Gang read Crow's TV script

Closing (Segment Five): Joel reads a viewer letter and the SOL is visited by John Banner/Bavarro via the Hexfield Viewscreen. Joel sends a "Bannergram" to Deep 13.

Stinger: "Boopie!" (Actually, Bavarro is saying "Bobby" here, but with his thick accent it sounds like "Boopie" to most.)

MST3K cast

Regular cast

Guest cast




  • During the Part 1 recap in the MST Hour bumpers for this episode, Jack Perkins refers to Vena as Adene.

Obscure References

  • "When Ann Sexton throws a party".

Ann Sexton was an American poet and writer who committed suicide.

  • "I hate these Pinter plays".

Harold Pinter is an English playwright, screenwriter, actor, director, poet and political activist whose plays are marked stylistically by theatrical pauses and silences.

  • "I think I'll put on my Dan Hill album."

Dan Hill is a Canadian singer and songwriter who achieved popularity in the 1970's for songs that sometimes flirted with the maudlin and depressing.

  • "Arthur Pierson, inventor of the Salted Nut Goodie!"

A play on Pearson's Candy Company, a St. Paul-based confectioner. Joel actually combines the names of two of their products, the Salted Nut Roll and the Nut Goodie.

  • "Rahsaan Roland Reed!".

Rahsaan Roland Kirk was an American jazz multi-instrumentalist who was blind.

  • "Leona Helmsley!"

Leona Helmsley was a billionaire hotel operator and real estate investor who was nicknamed "The Queen of Mean".

  • "Please try to understand" - I'm a magic man."

A line from the song "Magic Man" by Heart.

  • "...and bring back the Boston Rag!"

A line from the song "The Boston Rag" by Steely Dan.

  • "The Honeymooners!"

The Honeymooners was a popular television show of the late fifties staring Jackie Gleason. The music cue which prompts the riff is reminiscent of the big band theme used to open and close that show.

  • "Devo, New Traditionalists."

Devo is an American New Wave Band founded in 1974 in Akron Ohio, best known for the song "Whip It". New Traditionalists (Released in 1981) was the band's fourth album.

  • "If the choice is between you two goons I'd rather date Stacey Koons..."

Gypsy is apparently referring to Stacey Koon, a former Los Angeles police officer who gained national attention for his part in the beating of Rodney King in 1991. The beating was widely considered to be racially-motivated, and Koon was convicted in federal court of violating King's constitutional rights.

  • "Frau Blucher!"

A reference to Cloris Leachman's crone-ish character in the 1974 movie Young Frankenstein directed by Mel Brooks. Whenever the Frau's name was mentioned a horse could be heard whinnying.

  • "Vladimir"

The character Professor Newton bears a slight resemblance to legendary 20th century Russian-American pianist Vladimir Horowitz.

  • "Oon yellimon...."

This phrase was suggested as a possible "mantra" for consciousness expansion on the 1970's comedy album "A Child's Garden of Grass".

  • "Say the secret word and Bill Cosby rips your show off."

During a scene where the space station is violently rocked by the "atmosphere chain", an unidentified instrument descends from ceiling - not unlike the duck which used to descend from the ceiling on the game show You Bet Your Life whenever someone said the "secret word". The show was hosted by Groucho Marx, hence Crow's impersonation, and was later briefly resurrected with Bill Cosby as the host.

  • "Twisted old fruit"

An epithet delivered by useless band manager Ian from the 1984 movie This is Spinal Tap.

  • "She Blinded Me with Science!"

The title of a 1982 New Wave song and music video by British musician Thomas Dolby in which stereotyped scientists somewhat resembling Professor Newton appear.

  • "Bavarro and Bavarro and Bavarro"

A variation of "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow", the third sentence from from one of the soliloquies of Shakespeare's play Macbeth.

  • "Now it's garbage!"

A line delivered by the character Oscar Madison in Neil Simon's play The Odd Couple. The popular film version starred Walter Matthau in the role.

  • "Why are you dressed as Liberace's chauffeur?"

Liberace was an American entertainer known for his gaudy and flamboyant attire, a candelabra-bedecked piano his popular 50's television program.

  • "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto"

A line from the chorus of the 1983 song "Mr. Roboto" by the band Styx.

  • "How is the little nipper, Martha?"

A reference to Richard Burton's delivery of similar dialogue in the movie version of Edward Albee's 1962 play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. In the movie, George and Martha actually referred to their 'son' as "the little bugger".

  • "Not since Fire Maidens of Outer Space has there been such a ladder scene so compelling."

A reference to Experiment #416 Fire Maidens of Outer Space in which ladders played a critical role.

  • "It would be so nice if you weren't here..."

This is the title of the first of several memoirs written by the acclaimed American actor Charles Grodin. It was published in 1989.

Video releases