The problem is, there was too much RADAR early. Now there's RADAR, I don't care.
- Crow

Radar Secret Service is the 20th episode of the fifth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It premiered on December 18, 1993.

The Short[]


520s (1)

Friendly Patrolman Hal Jackson (Boyett) visits the Dixon family to instruct their youngest son, Alan (Bosworth), in the art of safe and courteous driving. He relates many grisly tales of various young drivers, his main advice being to pay attention, but Alan's older brother Frank Jr. (Bill Agee) isn't listening, and drives with his girlfriend Betty (Lynch) into the path of an oncoming train while turning around and waving at the car behind him.


  • The film supposedly concentrates on accidents at level crossings because it was financed by Union Pacific. [1]

The Movie[]

Main article: Radar Secret Service (film)



Radar Secret Service

In post-WWII America, radar has been developed to such an extent that law enforcement agencies can use it to monitor the activities of organized crime. The desperate criminals attempt to thwart the Radar Patrol, but internal dissension and the effective use of radar subverts this effort.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]


Mike performs Crow’s maintenance checkup

Prologue: Mike performs Crow's maintenance checkup, but has no idea what he's doing. The result: Crow becomes Arnold Horshack.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Mike has an escape plan: tear up everything aboard the SOL made of fabric (including Gypsy's bra, Crow’s Underoos and his pants from The Killer Shrews, and Tom Servo's pantyhose) and tie the scraps together to make a very long rope. He might be a bit delusional. The Mads present Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis (containing X-4), a phenomenon which slows down movies and fills them with "subliminal poopie".


The Bots simulate Mike's high school reunion

Segment Two: Based on the tragic short, Trooper Tom presents the playlet Why Don’t They Look?. Dryer lint is apparently more dangerous than one might imagine.

Segment Three: The Bots simulate Mike’s 10-year high school reunion, based on what they found in Mike's yearbook. The theme: "Hungry Like the Wolf".

Segment Four: Mike and Crow have built the Quinn Martin Nature Preserve so old actors have a place to go when they’re no longer useful (Roy Thinnes is mentioned specifically). Servo eventually recognizes that the Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis is taking effect on them.


Trooper Tom

Segment Five: The Mads are foiled by Ecstato-Euphoro-Fun (with patented Hinder 90), a device which takes a B movie and turns it into a "Yippee movie"! Frank eventually falls under Hinder 90's spell.

Stinger: The hysterical maid shouts, "Thank you!"

MST3K cast[]


  • The episode contains several references to the popular TV sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter. Their connection to the movie and short is not readily apparent.
  • In the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide Kevin Murphy writes that he personally lobbied for this movie because he thought the constant references to "RADAR" were funny. He later regretted this.



Obscure References[]

  • "... I hear the robin sing..."

This is from the song performed by John Cleese's character at the beginning of the "Archaeology Today" sketch that appeared on the British sketch comedy TV series Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Tom is correct that Sam Newfield directed I Accuse My Parents, but Jungle Goddess was directed by Lewis D. Collins. Tom may have been confusing it with Lost Continent, another Newfield film with a similar look which had also been featured in Season 2.

  • "Gary Burghoff goes undercover!" "That would explain his career for the past ten years!"

Actor Gary Burghoff portrayed Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly in the movie & TV series M*A*S*H.

  • "Peggy Lee runs the mob."

Peggy Lee was a famous lounge/torch singer.

  • "I have a yacht about six miles up the river." "-Called 'Monkey Business'."

In 1988, the Presidential campaign of Democratic former U.S. Senator Gary Hart was ended after a photograph surfaced of him on a yacht with a young woman who was not his wife sitting on his lap. The yacht was named Monkey Business and Hart was wearing a T-shirt with the words "Monkey Business Crew" written on it. This prompted questions in the media about Hart's character, and his campaign did not recover.

  • "Here. Dan Fogelberg tickets."

Dan Fogelberg was a popular soft-rock singer/songwriter. His hits include "Longer" and "Leader of the Band".

  • "Don't cry out loud..."

From the song "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester.

  • "Hey, my Advocate is here!"

A reference to the gay-oriented magazine The Advocate.

  • "Stop the near-insanity!"

Mike is paraphrasing fitness guru Susan Powter.

  • "Jack Kevorkian throws a tailgate party."

Jack Kevorkian was a famous proponent of doctor-assisted suicide.


MST3K 520 Promos

  • "Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry, NO!"

A reference to the 1974 movie Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry about a racecar driver who commits a daring heist with his occasional girlfriend.

  • "Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit..."

A line sung by Elmer Fudd in the 1957 cartoon What's Opera, Doc?.

  • "The Powers That Be is on!"

The Powers That Be is a short-lived 1990s sitcom that centers on a U.S. Senator & his family in Washington DC.

  • "The calls are coming from inside the car!"

The babysitter and the man upstairs is an urban legend that dates back to the 1960s about a teenage girl babysitting children who is harassed by a series of anonymous telephone calls wherein she is told to "check the children." She eventually calls the police, and, after tracing the next call, they tell her, "The calls are coming from inside the house."

  • "Oh, would you look at that! Billy Joe McAllister is down there."

"Ode to Billy Joe" is a hit country song released in 1967 about a boy who commits suicide by jumping off a bridge (and a family's rather blasé reaction to the news).

  • "Hey, it's the 'friendly stranger in the black sedan'!"

This is a line from the song "Vehicle", popularized by the band The Ides of March in 1970.

  • "I had to pick up my brother from the hospital, drop off the guns at Karen's house, and then back to stir the sauce..." and "I had to sell the guns so I could get enough money to buy the coke, so I brought them back to Karen's house but her mother had to go get..."

Crow is mimicking Ray Liotta's character Henry Hill narrating the action in the mob film Goodfellas.

Video releases[]