"Remember, they're vampire women, so get ready with the Cher jokes."
- Crow

The Movie[]

Main article: Samson vs. the Vampire Women (film)


The heroic masked wrestler El Santo (aka "Samson") battles a coven of vampire women who are seeking to corrupt a virtuous young woman in order to preserve their lives and beauty.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]


Mike & the Bots play stratego

Prologue: The Satellite of Love has a moment of silence. Tom enjoys his by talking incessantly.

Segment One: Deep 13 receives some Chinese food from an ethereal white deliveryman. Frank accounts for the great majority of the order and kindly sends some up to the SOL. Frank's fortune cookie specifically hints at his imminent death. Crow enjoys his lo mein, Mike has difficulty with his hot and sour clam soup, and Tom's hot dog gives him kisses.


Torgo the White visits Frank

Segment Two: While the crew plays Stratego in their own way, Crow spies a mysterious figure outside the ship and receives an ethereal message.

Segment Three: Torgo the White, complete with reconstructed knees, arrives in Deep 13 and takes Frank to Second Banana Heaven.

Segment Four: Dr. Forrester receives the news from the SOL crew and realizes Frank is gone for good. Distraught, he sings the touching tribute "Who Will I Kill?"


Frank visits Clayton one last time

Segment Five: The Bots read their letters to Frank; however, only Gypsy's and Servo's (kind of) are actually appropriate for the occasion. Frank visits a mourning Dr. F from the ethereal outer world and pushes the button one last time for old time's sake.

Stinger: "Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden."

MST3K cast[]

Regular cast

Guest cast



Obscure References[]

  • "Oh, it's Ginger Rogers."
Ginger Rogers was an American actress, dancer and singer during the Golden Age of Hollywood in the 1930s and '40s. She died on April 25, 1995, exactly one month after this episode first aired.
  • Torgo the White
"Torgo the White" is a parody of the heavenly transformation of Gandalf from "Gandalf the Grey" to "Gandalf the White". Torgo reacts the same way Gandalf does when asked if he is Gandalf: "Yes, that was the name. And thus you may still call me..."
  • "One of Newt's orphanages."
Newt Gingrich, former Republican Speaker of the House (1995–1999), once infamously suggested that the government should re-establish orphanages to raise poor children, rather than giving their parents welfare benefits to allow them to raise the kids themselves.
  • "Something's going to happen, Mike. Something WONDERFUL!"
Crow is referencing 2010: The Year We Make Contact, and the recurring David Bowman entity who keeps stating "Something's going to happen. Something wonderful."
  • "Oh look, Capitol Critters is on!"
Capitol Critters is a short-lived animated TV series from the early 1990s about rodents and insects living inside the White House.
  • "Why do they have the Blue Mosque as their symbol?"
The Sultan Ahmed Mosque, also known as the Blue Mosque, is an Istanbul landmark.
  • "She's dressed like Jeremiah Johnson!"
Jeremiah Johnson is a 1972 Revisionist Western film starring Robert Redford as a mountain man.
  • "All right Marines, drop your socks and grab your... socks."
A sanitized version of a line from the film Full Metal Jacket, delivered by a drill sergeant waking up the recruits: "Drop your cocks and grab your socks."
  • "Which one of them is Brad Pitt?"
In the 1994 gothic horror film Interview with the Vampire, Brad Pitt portrays Louis, a vampire telling his 200-year-long life story to a reporter.
  • "Hmmm, great! You know that thing from 'Peanuts'?"
The piano-centric jazz piece entitled "Linus and Lucy" was composed by Vince Guaraldi for the TV special A Charlie Brown Christmas, which features the characters from the Peanuts comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz. The song became the theme for many of the subsequent TV specials featuring those characters, and has become strongly associated with the comic strip.
  • "He's got a picture of Reddy Kilowatt up over there!"
Reddy Kilowatt is a cartoon character that acted as corporate spokesman for electricity generation in the U.S. and other countries for over seven decades. He is drawn as a stick figure whose body, limbs, and hair are made of red lightning-bolts, and he has a light bulb for a nose and wall outlets for ears.
  • "It's BUtterfield Ocho!"
BUtterfield 8 is a 1960 movie starring Elizabeth Taylor.
  • "Now when was I a Flying Leatherneck?"
Flying Leathernecks is a 1951 action war film about Marine Corps aviators during World War II. However, the term "Flying Leatherneck" is widely used to refer to those in Marine aviation.
  • "They didn't count on Carlton the Doorman!"
In the 1970s sitcom Rhoda, Carlton is Rhoda's doorman who is never seen but only heard via intercom. The character later appeared in an animated pilot for a potential series that was not picked up.
  • "Ah, the Rainforest Cafe!"
The Rainforest Cafe is a chain of restaurants that feature elaborate jungle scenery.
  • "Well, I've got a golf date with Randy the Macho Man."
Randy "Macho Man" Savage was a professional wrestler for the WWF (1985–1994) and WCW (1994–2000).
  • "She looks like a Magic Eye picture!"
Magic Eye is a series of books, posters, calendars, etc. from the 1990s that contain visual illusions which allow some people to see 3-D images by focusing on 2-D patterns.
  • "Sade!" "Your love is king..."
Sade Adu is a Nigerian-British singer known as the lead singer of her eponymous band. "Your Love Is King" is their first single.
  • "They're making the beast with two butts!"
"Making the beast with two backs" is a euphemism for sexual intercourse, most famously used by William Shakespeare in Othello.
  • "It's a Robert Mapplethorpe photo session!"
Robert Mapplethorpe was a photographer known for the homoerotic and sadomasochistic content of most of his work.
  • "The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small!"
A paraphrase of an old joke by Harry Hershfield that is perhaps best-known for being told by Woody Allen in the movie Annie Hall.
  • "Where Devils Go, Trouble Follows!"
Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows is a 1968 comedy film about Catholic schoolgirls on a cross-country field trip.
  • "The Keystone Vampires!"
The Keystone Kops is a series of silent comedy movies about bumbling policemen.
  • "It's a sign that says 'Wall Drug, 10,000 Miles'!"
A reference to billboards advertising Wall Drug, a South Dakota tourist attraction. The signs start appearing a great distance away and state the number of miles to get there.
  • "This scene was edited out of Spartacus."
The infamous "oysters and snails" scene between Laurence Olivier and Tony Curtis in Spartacus was cut from the original release for homosexual content.
  • "Run, it's Butch Patrick!"

Butch Patrick is an actor best known for his portrayal of child werewolf Eddie Munster on the TV series The Munsters.

Video releases[]