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"They killed Savage Pier."
  — Mike


The Movie

Main article: The She-Creature (film)

Synopsis

An amoral hypnotist transforms his beautiful assistant into the form of a prehistoric sea monster using past-life regression. He then sends her to kill on his behalf.

The Episode

Host Segments

Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy escape

Opening: Crow and Servo get their Thigh Master and Thawmaster switched around. Because of this, Tom's pot roast remains frozen and Crow has melted himself into a puddle of goo while exercising.

Segment 1: On the Planet of the Observers, the Observers are trying to dissect Professor Bobo. Pearl promises to stop sending Mike bad movies if he creates a distraction. The nanites distract two of the Observers with a tractor beam leaving Brain Guy to guard Pearl. Pearl then lures Brain Guy into the force field that's containing her by telling him the other observers have created an invisible man and put him in with her. Furthermore this invisible man is ill and needs attention. When Brain Guy gets close, Pearl holds his brain hostage and escapes. Gypsy tries to get the Satellite of Love away from the Planet of the Observers but she can't since they disabled the navigation system. Mike asks the nanites to solve the problem and they do by destroying the observers' planet.

Tickle-Me-Carlo-Lombardi

Segment 2: Crow shows Mike the Tickle-Me-Carlo-Lombardi doll he invented. The doll turns out to be creepy and aggressive.

Segment 3: Pearl, Prof. Bobo and Brain Guy have escaped in The Widowmaker relatively unscathed. Pearl abuses them and their microbus gets a flat tire. Bobo gets out to fix it and plummets to a nearby planet.

Segment 4 Mike and the bots are checking out Lance Fuller's instructional book "Do Not Act". The bots practice with Mike as he unresponsively mumbles without emotion to scenes from King Lear, The Odd Couple, Network and Schindler's List. He perfects the Lance Fuller non-acting technique by reciting a line from Waterworld.

Closing Segment Mike and the bots discuss the meaning of the question mark at the end of the film. They try to escape but are being held by Brain Guy's psychic abilities. On the Widowmaker, Pearl and Brain Guy forge a new friendship based on tormenting Mike.

Stinger Bobo is still lying on the planet's surface waiting to be rescued.

MST3K cast

Regular cast

Guest cast

Trivia

Callbacks

Running Jokes

  • The SOL crew repeatedly refers to the immigrant house staff as "squareheads". This is a derogatory term for people of Scandinavian (usually Swedish) origin. The term is now outdated as prejudice against Scandinavians in the United States has largely died out. Viewers can reasonably assume the joke is in the use of an archaic term rather than any genuine malice on the part of the writers and performers.

Obscure References

  • "I'M NOT PUTTING DOWN THE BRAIN! I'M NOT PUTTING DOWN THE BRAIN!" etc.

Pearl and the Observers are re-creating a scene from Witness.

  • "...and Lee Trevino goes fishing."

Lee Trevino is a retired professional golfer who was struck by lightning at the 1975 Western Open golf tournament.

  • "Edward Cahn! Edward Cahn! Lemme rock you that all I wanna do..." 

Mimicking the opening loop of "I Feel For You", only replacing the name of singer Chaka Khan with Edward Cahn (the director of this film).

  • "Ooh, Professor Firefly..."

Professor Rufus T. Firefly is a conman played by Groucho Marx who woos wealthy spinster Mrs. Teasdale (played by Margaret Dumont, whom Mike is mimicking here) in the comedy film Duck Soup.

  • "I married Aunt Bee."

Aunt Bee is a spinster character on The Andy Griffith Show. Several books, films, and TV shows have used titles that started with "I Married...", including I Married a Witch, I Married Joan, I Married a Monster from Outer Space, I Married Dora, I Married a Communist, and So I Married an Axe Murderer.

  • "Is this the Mr. Kite everyone's always doing stuff for the benefit of?"

The Beatles album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band includes the song "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!", the title of which was apparently inspired by an antique circus poster that band member John Lennon had owned.

  • "Rin Tin Tin in Coming Home..."

Rin Tin Tin was the name given to a series of performing German Shepherd dogs who appeared in films and television. The original Rin Tin Tin was reportedly rescued from a World War I battlefield. Coming Home is a 1978 film about American veterans of the military conflict in Vietnam. The final scene takes place on a beach.

  • "The death of Tyne Daly."

Tyne Daly is an American actress with many notable credits, including her co-starring role as Mary Beth Lacy on the TV series Cagney & Lacey (in which she had short dark hair like the woman in this scene).

  • "I'm going to tell Hobie to stay away from the pier."

Hobie is the adolescent (later teenage) son of lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on the TV series Baywatch. Hobie often finds himself in precarious situations despite being warned against dangerous behavior.

  • "King is the Scorpio Killer."

The Scorpio Killer is the antagonist in the 1971 film Dirty Harry. Scorpio was loosely based on the real-life Zodiac Killer, an unidentified serial killer who had committed five murders in the San Francisco Bay Area several years earlier.

  • Detective: What could make a footprint like that? Crow: Bill Walton?

Bill Walton, former professional basketball player in the NBA, is 6'11".

  • "...Over a million years old." "Strom Thurmond?"

Strom Thurmond (1902-2003) was a United States Senator from South Carolina who served for 48 years. His advanced age and arch-conservative positions were often satirized in the 1990s. At the time of this episode, he was 94 years old.

  • "What's it all about, doc?" "Alfie."

The theme song to the 1966 film Alfie, written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, begins with the line, "What's it all about, Alfie?". It was inspired by a rough cut of the film about the Cockney womanizer played by Michael Caine. David utilized one of Caine's lines, "What's it all about?", as the opening phrase.

  • "Shortly after midnight." "Don't let it all hang down, please!"

"After Midnight" is a rock & roll song first released by J. J. Cale in 1966 and later popularized by Eric Clapton. It includes the line, "After midnight, we're gonna let it all hang out."

  • "I'm not a Coffee Achiever."

"Join the Coffee Achievers" was an early ’80s advertising campaign from the National Coffee Association designed to make coffee seem more hip to a younger generation. It featured prominent celebrities such as David Bowie, the Electric Light Orchestra, Heart, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cicely Tyson, Jane Curtin, and Ken Anderson.

  • "Inspired by Balki."

Balki Bartokomous is an immigrant from a fictional Greek island in the sitcom Perfect Strangers.

  • "Thank you very much."

The catchphrase of Latka Gravas, the immigrant mechanic from an undisclosed country in the sitcom Taxi.

  • "Molly Ivins can't say that!"

Molly Ivins was an American journalist, political commentator, and humorist who was best known for her writing about Texas politics in the 1990s (which segued into criticism of U.S. president George W. Bush). In 1991, her book Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She? was published, and spent 29 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.

  • "To the good life..."

"The Good Life" is a lounge song popularized by singer Tony Bennett (whose vocal style Tom mimics) in 1963.

  • "Bob Dornan after the election."

Bob Dornan (Lt. Witkowski in The Starfighters), now retired, was a staunchly conservative Republican Representative from California. After dropping out of the 1996 presidential race, Dornan ran for reelection to his seat in the House, but was defeated by Democrat Loretta Sanchez by less than 1,000 votes. Following the narrow defeat, Dornan alleged that Sanchez's winning margin was provided by illegal voting from non-U.S. citizens.

  • "Boy, that Mickey Spillane sure can write."

In a scene in the 1955 film Marty, Marty's low-brow friends speak highly of crime novelist Mickey Spillane's writing: "Boy, that Mickey Spillane, he sure can write."

  • "Keyser Söze on piano."

Keyser Söze is the mysterious crime lord in the 1995 film The Usual Suspects. It is inferred that Söze is one and the same as Roger "Verbal" Kint, who is played by Kevin Spacey.

  • "How much is six take away four, Andrea? *stomp stomp*"

Clever Hans was a horse owned and trained by Wilhelm von Osten that was claimed to have performed arithmetic and other intellectual tasks. Von Osten would ask Hans a question such as, "What is eight plus three?", and the horse would answer by tapping his hoof eleven times. The feats performed by the horse were eventually explained as simple behavioral responses to subtle cues provided (perhaps unintentionally) by his handler. This is known as the Clever Hans effect.

  • "This is just like Courteney Cox in that Springsteen video!"

The music video for the 1984 Bruce Springsteen song "Dancing in the Dark" features Springsteen bringing a fan on stage during a live performance to dance with him. The fan was played by actress Courteney Cox, who was relatively unknown at the time. She later enjoyed success on TV in the shows Family Ties, Friends, and Cougar Town.

  • "Now you're going back in time to the very beginning." "A very good place to start."

The first lines of the song "Do-Re-Mi" from The Sound of Music are "Let's start at the very beginning/A very good place to start".

  • "What year is it, Elizabeth?" "The year of the cat."

"Year of the Cat"  is a 1976 hit single released by singer-songwriter Al Stewart.

  • "In 'ertford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire."

A reference to the song "The Rain in Spain" from the musical My Fair Lady in which the Cockney Eliza Doolittle is trained not to drop the 'H' from the beginnings of words. The line is, "In Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly happen."

  • Lombardi: "Who is the reigning monarch?"
    Elizabeth: "James Stewart."
    Mike: "Wait a second, you're crazy! And you're driving me crazy, too!"

The House of Stuart, originally Stewart, was a royal house of Scotland, England, Ireland, and later Great Britain which included many rulers by the name of James. Mike is mimicking the distinctive drawl of James Stewart the actor and quoting a line of dialogue from Stewart's performance as George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life.

  • "I knew we should have hired Williams and Ree."

Williams and Ree are a comedy duo that often works as a warm-up act for country western singers.

  • "He's Carlo Kato Lombardi Kaelin!"

Brian Gerard "Kato" Kaelin is an actor, radio, and television personality who was a witness in the O. J. Simpson murder case. Kaelin was staying in the guest house on Simpson's estate at the time the murders took place. To some people, Kaelin's name became shorthand for any freeloading houseguest.

  • "The artist is vain..." "You mean Jeff Koons?"

Jeff Koons is an American artist recognized for his work dealing with popular culture and his sculptures depicting everyday objects, including balloon animals produced in stainless steel with mirror-finish surfaces. His works have sold for substantial sums, including at least two record auction prices for a work by a living artist. Some critics dismiss his work as kitsch, crass, and based on cynical self-merchandising.

  • "Can't touch this..."

A line from the song "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.

  • "SOOOOUUUULLL transmigration."

Tom is mimicking the opening of the long-running syndicated music-dance TV program Soul Train.

  • "Jake Gittes nostril slashed at reservoir!"

In the 1974 film Chinatown, Jake Gittes is a private detective who gets drawn into a case involving Los Angeles water rights in 1937. His nostril is cut open by sinister operatives in an attempt to get him to stop his investigation.

  • "And soon they're opening for Señor Wences!"

Señor Wences was a Spanish ventriloquist and comedian whose popularity grew with his frequent appearances on CBS-TV's The Ed Sullivan Show in the 1950s and 1960s.

  • "Dave Berg, scientist."

Dave Berg was a cartoonist for Mad magazine, drawing their long-running "The Lighter Side of..." series. He always portrayed himself smoking a pipe.

  • "Toonces."

"Toonces the Driving Cat" was a recurring sketch on Saturday Night Live. The sketches usually ended with Toonces driving the car off a cliff, resulting in a fiery wreck.

  • "Arnold Stang's autograph, should fetch a pretty penny."

Arnold Stang was an American character actor. His persona was a small and bespectacled, yet brash and knowing big-city type.

  • "Thanks for the Bob Dole handshake, jerk!"

Long-time United States Senator and 1996 candidate for president Bob Dole was injured during his military service in World War II. He lost the use of his right hand; thus, he could only shake hands with people using his left hand, which was occasionally awkward.

  • "Here comes Monte Markham to the rescue..."

Monte Markham is an American actor who has had a long career in film, television, and Broadway. He portrayed the CIA Director in Master Ninja II.

  • "Hey, Fanny and Alexander, listen up!"

Fanny and Alexander is a Swedish period drama written and directed by Ingmar Bergman about two siblings and their large family in Uppsala.

  • "You kill her and you kill Anson Williams!"

Anson Williams is an American actor and director best known for playing Potsie Weber on the TV sitcom Happy Days.

  • "She-Creature with Kung-Fu Grip."

The "Kung-Fu Grip" was a feature of G.I. Joe action figures starting from the Adventure Team series. The idea behind the Kung Fu Grip is that the soft rubber hands on the figures would allow them to hold their weapons better.

  • "Tell Moondoggie I love him."

Moondoggie is a fictional character created by Frederick Kohner in his Gidget novels. He is a surfer who saves Gidget from drowning and later becomes romantically involved with her.

  • "Lombardi was right." "Winning isn't everything."

The phrase "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." is frequently mis-attributed to Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi. Vince may have used it, but it was first said by UCLA coach Red Sanders.

  • "I want those Glengarry leads."

Glengarry Glen Ross is a two-act play and film about real estate investment cold-callers who break into an office to steal a valuable list of exploitable clients or "leads" in the Glengarry area.

  • "General Tom Thumb."

Charles Stratton, better known by his stage name "General Tom Thumb", was a little-person who achieved great fame as a performer under circus pioneer P. T. Barnum. As an adult, he was slightly more than 3 feet tall.

  • "...and the Mysterians."

? and The Mysterians (pronounced "Question Mark and the Mysterians") is a 60's rock group famous for the single "96 Tears".

Memorable Quotes

[At the carnival, Lombardi talks about his assistant Andrea with Johnny the barker.]
Barker Johnny: I knew her when she was a carnival follower. Every time we'd hit a town, she'd be there, waiting for us.
Servo: So she's a carnival preceder.
[Dr. Erickson chats with Andrea, who noticeably fills out her tight-fitting top.]
Erickson: Maybe we could talk about it over a cup of coffee.
Andrea: I'd like that.
Servo [as Erickson]: Would you like a C cup or a D cup of coffee?
[Lombardi hypnotizes Andrea back to her "Elizabeth" former life. Fellow hypnotist Erickson (played by Lance Fuller) questions her.]
Crow [as Erickson/Fuller]: My first question: will I get the part in This Island Earth?
Erickson: What year is it, Andrea?
Mike [as Elizabeth][singing] The year of the cat.
Andrea/Elizabeth: 1618, the Year of Our Lord.
Servo [as Elizabeth/Eliza Doolittle]: In 'artford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire.
Erickson: Who is the reigning monarch?
Andrea/Elizabeth: James Stuart.
Mike [as George Bailey]: Now, wait a second. You're crazy, and you're driving me crazy, too!
[Lombardi forces King the dog to back away simply by staring at him.]
Lombardi: There aren't many who can control an animal by hypnosis, are there, Doctor?
Erickson: No.
Lombardi: He did what I told him without a single word.
Mike: That's because he's a dog!
[As Dr. Erickson looks out over the beach, large flipper-like footprints appear mysteriously in the sand.]
Servo[gasps] Donald Duck has the Ring of Power!
...
Crow: Frodo goes snorkeling!
[A poster for Dr. Lombardi's show features a picture of him, serious and unsmiling]
Mike: See his lecture series, "Let A Smile Be Your Calling Card."

Video releases

MST3K DVD Cover

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