The "MST3K Love Theme" is the main theme song of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which serves to summarize the general concept and backstory behind the show as well as set the mood. The lyrics are regularly altered to reflect changes in the cast or plot, but the song has been present in every season of the show.
Contents
Lyrics
Episodes K01 - K21
JOEL
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel
Not too different than you or me
He worked in a satellite loading bay
Just polishing switches to pay his way
He did his job well with a cheerful face
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space!
"We'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst ever made!"
Joel says when you've got lemons
you make lemonade
Now keep in mind he can't control
Where the movies begin or end
Because he used the extra parts
To make his robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot!
Servo!
Gypsy!
Crow!
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts
Then repeat to yourself "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 101 - 512
Joel's intro (Season 2 - 5)
JOEL
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel
Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another face in a red jumpsuit
He did a good job cleaning up the place
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space!
"We'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst we can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends
Robot Roll Call (all right let's go)
Cambot! (Pan left!)
Gypsy! (Hi, girl!)
Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!)
Crooooow! (Oh, wisecracker!)
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 513 - 624
Mike's Intro (Season 5 - 6)
MIKE
In the not-too-distant future
Way down in Deep 13
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank
Were hatching an evil scheme!
They hired a temp by the name of Mike
Just a regular joe they didn't like
Their experiment needed a good test case
So they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space! (Get...me...doooown!)
"We'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst we can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot! (Cover yourself!)
Gypsy! (GYPSY: I'm not ready!)
Tom Servo! (TOM: Hello there!)
Crooooow! (CROW: That's one "o!")
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 701 - 706
Dr. F (Season 7 intro)
MIKE
In the not-too-distant future
Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester
Was hatching a nasty scheme!
He hired a temp by the name of Mike
Just a regular joe he didn't like
His experiment needed a good test case
So he conked him on the noggin and he shot him into space! (Get...me...doooown!)
"I'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst I can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot! (Cover yourself!)
Gypsy! (GYPSY: I'm not ready!)
Tom Servo! (TOM: Hello there!)
Crooooow! (CROW: That's one "o!")
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself "It's just a show
I should really just relax."
Dr. Forrester: Did I tell you my mother's here?
MIKE
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 801 - 913
MIKE
In the not-too-distant future
Somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
Are caught in an endless chase
Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl
An evil gal who wants to rule the world
She threw a few things in her purse
And in her rocketship she hunts him all across the universe! (PEARL: I'll...get...youuuuuuu!)
PEARL
I'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst I can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And I'll monitor his mind! (la la la)
MIKE
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (GYPSY: Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (TOM: Check me out!)
Crooooow! (CROW: I'm different!)
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 1001 - 1013
MIKE
In the not-too-distant future
Somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
Are caught in a nasty place
They try to survive the wrath of Pearl
Just an evil gal who wants to rule the world
From her castle below, she sets her sights above
Just to torture all her captives on the Satellite of Love! (Get...me...doooown!)
PEARL
I'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst I can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And I'll monitor his mind! (la la la)
MIKE
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (GYPSY: Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (TOM: Check me out!)
Crooooow! (CROW: I'm different!)
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Episodes 1101 - 1206
note: text in red is heard during the show open, but is not present on the released version of the song
THE SKELETON CREW LEAD SINGER
In the not-too-distant future (Max: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! We need your help! Jonah: Someone needs my help.)
Next Sunday, A.D. (Max: Mayday! Mayday!)
There was a guy named Jonah
Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another mug in a yellow jumpsuit (Jonah: Hello? Hello! What the heck?)
A distress call came in for him at half-past noon
That's when an evil woman trapped him on the dark side of the moon
KINGA
I'll send him cheesy movies
The worst I can find (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind (la la la)
SINGER
Now keep in mind that Jonah can't control
When the movies begin or end (la la la)
So he'll have to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends
CHORUS
Robot Roll Call
Cambot!
Gypsy!
Tom Servo!
Crooooow!
SINGER
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
Credits
- Music by Joel Hodgson and Charlie Erickson
- K01 - 512 and 1101 - 1206 lyrics by Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
- 513 - 1013 lyrics by Best Brains
- K01 - 512 performed by Joel Hodgson
- 513 - 707 performed by Michael J. Nelson with interjections by Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy and Trace Beaulieu
- 801 - 1013 performed by Michael J. Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl with interjections by Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett
- 1101 - 1206 performed by Har Mar Superstar and Felicia Day
Notes
- In the "Turn down your lights" part of the theme, one can hear a very faint version of the theme song playing.
- In seasons 8-10, Crow says "I'm different!", referring to the fact that he was now being voiced by Bill Corbett instead of Trace Beaulieu
- An update on the "Bring Back MST3K" Kickstarter project shows a storyboard from a new episode that confirmed that the "Love Theme" would be back for the new season of MST3K. (See the "First Look: The New Opening Sequence!" section on that page.)
