"Master Ninja Theme Song" is a song performed by Joel Hodgson, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo and Gypsy at the conclusion of Experiment #322.


[On the Satellite of Love]
Tom Servo: You know, Joel, going into this experiment, several things were a given. One, it had a Van Patten in a prominent role. Two, it was made for TV. Three, it had a Van Patten in a prominent role. But I had no idea it would be THIS BAD!
Crow T. Robot: Yeah, really. I mean, if you look at some of the other thirteen-episode action shows from that era like Manimal, uh, Misfits of Science, Supertrain...
Gypsy: Oh, I liked that one.
Crow T. Robot: It was pretty good. Uh, Tales of the Gold Monkey, they were all insipid, yet CLEARLY superior to this piece of JUNK!
Joel Hodgson: Well, guys, take it easy. The best way to beat those made-for-TV blues is to start your own funk/fusion TV action band. Okay, so Crow, I want you to start out on the drums, c'mon.
Crow T. Robot: Oh, okay.


[Crow begins laying down a funky beat]

Crow T. Robot: Hey, get me. I'm an LA studio musician.
Tom Servo: Let me throw in a little wah-wah.

[Tom joins in with the "wakichika-wakichika"]

Joel Hodgson: Gypsy!

[Gypsy adds the wailing sax.]

Joel Hodgson: Okay. That sounds good. Okay.

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: Okay. Now, Crow, [laughs] put that up on StillStore, will ya?

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: Okay, "We, the officers of the Battleship Missouri wish to congratulate you on the quality programming you are injecting in the..."

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: "...fiber-optic veins of our nation. While in the Persian Gulf during Operation Desert Storm, we often felt, as you must,..."

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: "...trapped in a steel box with little or no contact with the outside world, yet engaged in important and dangerous work."

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: Ow! "As Comrades, we salute you. We spend many off-hour duty hours enjoying your show. To help repay you for the pleasure given us..."

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: "...we would like to do something for you. Some of us are engineering by profession and would like to offer our assistance in designing, manufacturing serviceable arms...

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: "...your torso. Let us know if you want any special features, such as death lasers or detachable, radio-controlled fingers. We eagerly await your reply.

Master Ninja Theme Song

Joel Hodgson: What do you think, sirs?


[Over the closing credits.]

Master Ninja Theme Song

Master Ninja Theme Song

Master Ninja Theme Song

Keep your eye upon
The Master Ninja Theme Song

'Cause those Van Patten brothers
Are so head strong

Master Ninja Theme Song [Help me!]

Master Ninja Theme Song


Behind the Scenes

  • Joel is clearly reading his lines during the opening dialogue of the segment.
  • The letter Joel reads throughout the song is addressed to "Mr. Tom Servo (and supporting cast)"


Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Season 13 "Perico"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIClowns in the Sky I & IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the Sky