"Master Ninja Theme Song" is a song performed by Joel Hodgson, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo and Gypsy at the conclusion of Experiment #322.
Set-up[]
[On the Satellite of Love]
Tom Servo: You know, Joel, going into this experiment, several things were a given. One, it had a Van Patten in a prominent role. Two, it was made for TV. Three, it had a Van Patten in a prominent role. But I had no idea it would be THIS BAD!
Crow T. Robot: Yeah, really. I mean, if you look at some of the other thirteen-episode action shows from that era like Manimal, uh, Misfits of Science, Supertrain...
Gypsy: Oh, I liked that one.
Crow T. Robot: It was pretty good. Uh, Tales of the Gold Monkey, they were all insipid, yet CLEARLY superior to this piece of JUNK!
Joel Hodgson: Well, guys, take it easy. The best way to beat those made-for-TV blues is to start your own funk/fusion TV action band. Okay, so Crow, I want you to start out on the drums, c'mon.
Crow T. Robot: Oh, okay.
Lyrics[]
[Crow begins laying down a funky beat]
Crow T. Robot: Hey, get me. I'm an LA studio musician.
Tom Servo: Let me throw in a little wah-wah.
[Tom joins in with the "wakichika-wakichika"]
Joel Hodgson: Gypsy!
[Gypsy adds the wailing sax.]
Joel Hodgson: Okay. That sounds good. Okay.
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: Okay. Now, Crow, [laughs] put that up on StillStore, will ya?
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: Okay, "We, the officers of the Battleship Missouri wish to congratulate you on the quality programming you are injecting in the..."
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: "...fiber-optic veins of our nation. While in the Persian Gulf during Operation Desert Storm, we often felt, as you must,..."
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: "...trapped in a steel box with little or no contact with the outside world, yet engaged in important and dangerous work."
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: Ow! "As Comrades, we salute you. We spend many off-hour duty hours enjoying your show. To help repay you for the pleasure given us..."
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: "...we would like to do something for you. Some of us are engineering by profession and would like to offer our assistance in designing, manufacturing serviceable arms...
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: "...your torso. Let us know if you want any special features, such as death lasers or detachable, radio-controlled fingers. We eagerly await your reply.
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Joel Hodgson: What do you think, sirs?
Reprise[]
[Over the closing credits.]
JOEL
Master Ninja Theme Song
Master Ninja Theme Song
Master Ninja Theme Song
Keep your eye upon
The Master Ninja Theme Song
'Cause those Van Patten brothers
Are so head strong
Master Ninja Theme Song [Help me!]
Master Ninja Theme Song
Credits[]
- performed by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Kevin Murphy and Jim Mallon
Behind the Scenes[]
- Joel is clearly reading his lines during the opening dialogue of the segment.
- The letter Joel reads throughout the song is addressed to "Mr. Tom Servo (and supporting cast)"
References[]