Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Comic No. 3 is the third issue in the Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Comic series, released on December 12, 2018. [1]



To help keep the three different comics books straight, Ardy has rigged up a junction box that allows for viewing a particular story with a simple pull of a lever. While he was at it, he also changed to his Season 12 containment suit. Kinga decides to check on what Tom Servo, Teen Reporter is up to.

Tom Servo, Teen Reporter

With the party over, Tom helps Mrs. Marks clean up. As they chatter, Tom voices his concerns regarding some of the sketchy individuals who had been attending. Mrs. Marks reminisces over how Shelley had been unpopular and plain in appearance when growing up. It hadn't been until high school before she blossomed and took an interest in acting. As a result, Mr. and Mrs. Marks never exerted their parental authority and allowed her to run wild.

The next morning at breakfast, Tom has a tense encounter with Chuck Aston. Before it can go too far, Shelley arrives and reprimands Chuck for his antagonizing ways. She then takes Tom on a tour of the ranch, which concludes at a small airstrip, where her personal airplane is kept. Shelley offers to take Tom for a flight, which he reluctantly accepts. During their aerial tour, the plane suddenly runs out of fuel and Shelley attempts to find a flat space to land.

Break 1

At this point, Ardy accidentally jostles the controls. But since it made for such a perfect cliffhanger, Kinga assumes it was intentional. She decides to check up on how Jonah is doing with Black Cat.

Black Cat and Jonah

Having left the crash site, Jonah stumbles upon the castle which serves as the base of operations for Rook. Inside, his barely literate goons are going through the contest entries. Upon being reintroduced to Rook, Jonah is dropped into the dungeon through a trapdoor. In frustration, one of the goons proclaims the whole contest to be a waste of time. Rook explains that he never believed that the contest would in itself reveal Black Cat's secret identity. The real purpose was to draw her to his base, where he would have the advantage.

Meanwhile, Black Cat survived her plunge in the river and has just made it back to dry land. Breaking into the castle, she initially has the upper hand as she makes quick work of Rook's goons. But the tables are turned when she get maneuvered over the same trapdoor Jonah went down. Their imprisonment proves short-lived, as Black Cat improvises with the wiring of the cell light to destroy the lock on the door. Rook and his goons have been indulging in some early celebration and are too inebriated to resist when the former captives hold them up at gunpoint. We then switch to Jonah having finished recounting these events to Linda Turner, and asking her who she thinks Black Cat might be. She feigns ignorance while giving a fourth wall bending wink to the readers.

Break 2

With that concluded, it's time to see what tale of bad people being served cryptic justice Crow will be narrating in Horrific.

Terror on High

Ralph and Jerry are apparently lost somewhere in the Bavarian Alps. Luck appears to be with them though as they stumble across a monastery. This particular order is known for providing hospitality for travelers, as well as aiding those who have run afoul of the hazards of the mountain terrain. Not every such victim can be reached in time, and those who don't survive are interred in a cellar where the sub-zero temperatures keep them preserved. As it turns out, their arrival was no coincidence. Ralph and Jerry already knew of the cellar, which has been used for that purpose for centuries. Among those kept down there are messengers of the high born who had been transporting a wide variety of valuables. Indifferent to wealth, the monks left their possessions intact. A little deception is all that will be needed for the two to score a massive haul.

The next day, they ask one of the monks for a tour of the cellar. As they gawk at the grisly sight, Jerry takes the opportunity to clout their monk escort. They quickly begin to loot the corpses and make their escape before the other monks return. It's not long before they come across a lodge, which happens to be another Moon 13 Ad Trap sponsored by Totino's Pizza Rolls. As they're about to down their pizza roll garnished drinks, Crow bursts in, livid over his comic being used for commercial purposes. Kinga attempts to placate him with a plate of pizza rolls, but this merely provokes him into going on a rampage. The narrative then resumes its normal course.

Ralph and Jerry make it to the cabin they set up to stay after their flight. Yet even though they appear to be home and free, a feeling of unease settles on them. This is exacerbated when they hear a disquieting knock on the door. Opening it reveals the now animated corpses they had robbed earlier. Ralph and Jerry flee in terror, only to plunge to their deaths in a crevice. Weeks later, their bodies are found by the monks whose trust they abused and are entombed in the same cellar with the riches they had desired to claim.


Kinga is pleased with the progress they're making. However, Max has concerns over the way Gypsy, Growler, and M. Waverly can switch between comics at will and how it could muck things up. This earns him a wuss slap from Kinga, who will brook no dissent.

Obscure References

  • "Just last summer, I met Jared Leto."
Jared Leto is an actor who won multiple awards for his role in Dallas Buyers Club and is notorious for taking method acting to the extreme.
  • "Shelley's life sounds like a Judy Blume novel."
Judy Blume is the author of several children's and YA novels, many of which garnered controversy due to featuring subject matter regarded as age inappropriate for the target audience.
  • "The poor child was as basic as this IKEA dinnerware."
IKEA is a Swedish company that manufactures a variety of household goods, but are best-known for their ready-to-assemble furniture.
  • "My breakfast consists of Jack Daniel's and coffee."
Jack Daniel's is a brand of whiskey manufactured in Lynchburg, Tennessee, which is the top-selling American whiskey in the world.
  • "How many Irish coffees can a man drink before noon?"
Irish coffee is a beverage consisting of hot coffee, whiskey and sugar, topped with cream.
  • "Besides, 'Blessed are the peacemakers'."
"Blessed are the peacemakers" is one of the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount, recounted in the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew.
  • "Don't you get all Mrs. Garrett on us."
Mrs. Garrett is a character from the sitcoms Diff'rent Strokes and The Facts of Life portrayed by Charlotte Rae.
  • "It's the only way to fly."
"The only way to fly" was the slogan of the now defunct Western Airlines.
  • "I only had four mimosas."
A mimosa is a cocktail consisting of sparkling wine (usually champagne) and citrus juice (usually orange juice).
  • "And, of course, God is my co-pilot."
God is My Co-Pilot is the memoir of WWII flying ace Robert Lee Scott Jr., which recounts his exploits with the Flying Tigers.
  • "Are you there, God? It's me Shelley!"
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret is a 1970 novel written by Judy Blume.
  • "Why didn't I pack my St. Christopher statue?"
Saint Christopher is a third century martyr. He is the patron saint of travelers, and images of him are sometimes placed in vehicles.
  • "The Bots seem to be doing a send-up of Ingmar Bergman's 'The Seventh Seal'."
The Seventh Seal is a 1957 film written and directed by Ingmar Bergman in which a knight plays chess with Death to forestall his own demise. It has been a popular subject of both homages and parodies.
  • "I didn't expect your temps to be the Peaky Blinders."
The Peaky Blinders were a British criminal gang in Birmingham, active from the 1890s to the end of World War I. Their name came from the caps they wore.
  • "We're Kelly Goils!"
Kelly Services is an office staffing company founded in 1946. When it first opened for business, its staff was predominantly female and they were commonly referred to as Kelly Girls.
  • "It's good to be king."
Line from the French Revolution segment of History of the World, Part 1, spoken by Louis XVI (portrayed by Mel Brooks) to the audience in a fourth wall bending moment.
  • "Think of your fellow man... Lend him a helping hand..."
The opening line of Put a Little Love in Your Heart, first performed by Jackie DeShannon in 1969.
  • "What would Lamont Cranston do?"
Lamont Cranston is a character from The Shadow media franchise, described as a wealthy young man-about-town. In the pulp novel continuity, Lamont Cranston is one of the identities used by the Shadow (who is actually WWI veteran Kent Allard) when the real Cranston is out of town. In the radio series continuity, Cranston is the Shadow.
  • "Do you think I look like Vivian Leigh?"
Vivien Leigh is an actress who is best remembered for her portrayal of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, for which she won a Best Actress Academy Award.
  • "Do you think I look like Jeff Lynne from ELO?"
Jeff Lynne is a co-founder and guitarist of the rock band Electrtic Light Orchestra (ELO).
  • "Welcome to the Friars Club!"
The New York Friars Club is a private club whose membership consists predominantly of comedians, and are famed for their celebrity roasts.
  • "We've even got Lenin down there!"
Vladimir Lenin was a communist revolutionary and the first government head of the Soviet Union. His corpse is famously entombed in a mausoleum in Red Square.
  • "Does anyone know 'Party in the U.S.A.'?"
Party in the U.S.A. is a song recorded by Miley Cyrus in 2009.
  • "I gotta lay off the Benedictine!"
Benedictine is a spread made from cucumbers and cream cheese. The Benedictines are a Catholic monastic order founded by St. Benedict of Nursia c. 529 AD.
  • "You guys could make a way cool Jaycees Haunted House down here!"
The Jaycees (more formally known as the United States Junior Chamber) is a civic organization who are particularly known for sponsoring Halloween haunted houses.
  • "Thanks, frozen Snickers bar!"
Snickers is a chocolate bar with a filling of peanuts, caramel, and nougat, owned by Mars, Incorporated.
  • "1924 Indian head nickels..."
The Indian head nickel (alternately known as the Buffalo nickel) is a five cent piece first issued in 1913 which features a Native American in profile on the heads side, and a bison on the tails side. Their tendency to wear quickly resulted in it being discontinued in 1938, which was replaced with the Thomas Jefferson design.
  • "What in the Hamburger Helper is going on here?!"
Hamburger Helper is a brand of pasta mixes owned by General Mills.
  • "My comic will not be turned into a den of corporate sponsorship!"
This scene is a parody of the Cleansing of the Temple, an event recounted in all four Gospels of the New Testament.
  • "Joey Bishop?"
Joey Bishop was a talk and variety show host who was also a member of the Rat Pack.
  • "It's the Pirates of the Caribbean!"
Pirates of the Caribbean is an attraction at multiple Disney theme parks, which was adapted as a movie in 2003.


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