Ode on Estelle is a song from Mystery Science Theater 3000 that appears in third host segment of episode 411 The Magic Sword. In the song, Crow confesses his love for actress Estelle Winwood, featured heavily in the movie. Joel is at first concerned about the age difference between them, while Tom Servo makes fun of her age and appearance, listing a "quick list of people much better looking than Estelle". Crow gets upset with Tom's teasing, so Joel sends Tom away to "clip some coupons" so he can console Crow by singing how he will support Crow's love for her. The three reunite for a jazzy send-off into commercial sign.
Lyrics[]
- Crow:
- As you guys I'm sure remember.
- I think it was maybe last December.
- I fell, pell-mell, for Kim Cattrall.
- But now, I'm over that.
- We had a little spat.
- I'm older, wiser and I know that my true love is really named...Estelle!
- She's swell!
- She's cute
- She's rooty-toot-toot.
- I bet she smells like Juicy Fruit.
- She can really play a witch
- She was even on Bewitched!
- And I'm bewildered and bothered!
- Joel:
- Crow, you are my buddy,
- And maybe I'm a fuddy duddy
- But step back please, and think about some stuff.
- I'm sure that she seems nice.
- But I bet she's more than twice your age.
- And with your love it might not matter--
- Tom:
- But can she control her bladder?
- (spoken)
- Joel: Tom, come on.
- Tom: Ok, but Joel, there's a whole other set of issues here. If I may, Crow, as a friend? As a trusted adviser?
- Crow: Well...
- Tom: Ok.
- Here's a quick list of people much better looking than Estelle
- Fred Biletnikoff, Brandon Tartikoff, Sid and Marty Krofft!
- Fred Gwynne and Anthony Quinn and Rin Tin Tin and Pearl Bailey
- And Moms Mabley and Mayor Daley and Hank and Phoebe Snow!
- Ethel Merman and Pee Wee Herman and Strom Thurmond and Vince Lombardi and George and Jesus Jones.
- Edith Head and Mister Ed and Nostradamus and Danny Thomas and Leona and Sherman Hemsley!
(spoken)
- Crow: Joel, make him stop!
- Joel: Tom, you're not helping things at all. Can you go and clip those coupons like you promised?
- Tom: Duhhh, Okay. (Singing) Willy DeVille and Agnes de Mille and Cruella DeVille and Roscoe Tanner and...
- Joel: Crow, listen. Don't worry about him. Why don’t you tell us more about how you’re feeling?
- Crow:
- She's a vision
- I got a new mission.
- Somehow I got to meet her.
- So she's older...two, three, four...
- She's got a great motor,
- There's nothing that can beat her!
- Joel:
- Crow, you have my blessing.
- And I feel like confessing.
- You're my little pal.
- Go on and give it a try.
- Cause you're bewildered and bothered!
Notes[]
- Crow refers to his crush on Kim Cattrall having started "maybe last December", though the original airdate for City Limits was in June.