"Sing a Song for Jiger" is a song sung by Jonah Heston, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, and GPC during Experiment #1307. It is a tribute to Gamera's foe in the movie.
Set-up[]
[On The Satellite of Love]
[Jonah, Tom, and Crow are dressed in suits, with Jonah also sporting a peaked cap. GPC is wearing a Jiger costume.]
All: [random Irish-sounding walla]
Jonah Heston: Okay, okay, pipe down! I said pipe down! You know why we're here. To say a final farewell to our old pal Jiger.
Tom Servo: The lousy mook!
Jonah Heston: Hey, come on. Her widow's here.
GPC: No, she was a mook, letting herself get killed by a lousy turtle. What do I tell the kids?
Jonah Heston: You tell them she died as she lived!
Crow T. Robot: With a statue hurled through her ugly face!
Jonah Heston: Settle down! Sure, Jiger might have been a bad monster, a bad wife, a bad design concept.
Crow T. Robot: Oh yeah.
Tom Servo: Yeah.
Jonah Heston: But she was our friend. And that still means something. I can't think of anyone more deserving of a good old Irish monster funeral song, huh? So let's throw back another round of Jiger bombs and sing!
Lyrics[]
[generically Irish music starts]
JONAH
She came from Wester Island
Beneath a rockpile bed
She'd been sleeping off a bender
And an aching giant head
Her noggin held a heat ray
And horns full up with darts
Had magnets on her hands and feets
And hatred in her heart
That right ol' eejit Gamera
Came twirlin' into sight
A wailin' like a banshee
And spoiling fer a fight
She shot him full of arrows
And stabbed him in the neck
She stuck a baby in his lung
And beat him all to heck
ALL
So raise a glass and shed a tear
And roar a roar-ful roar
To the monster of our hearts
Who isn't living anymore
So let the Devil's Whistle blow
And make a mournful sound
We'll sing a song for Jiger
She's dead and in the ground
[Jonah performs a solo on a penny whistle shaped like the statue from the movie]
TOM
She went down to the Expo
All she wanted was a nap
But two kids in a submarine
Gave Gamera's heart a zap
CROW
He rolled up on old Jiger
His temper running high
He dragged her up and down the lane
And dropped her from the sky
GPC
Turned out annoying noises
Caused our lass a frightful pain
So Gamera grabbed a tiki doll
And hucked it through her brain
He grabbed her lifeless body
And slowly flew away
ALL
While the old Osaka PD choir
Was singin' "Galway Bay"
So raise a glass and shed a tear
And roar a roar-ful roar
To the monster of our hearts
Who isn't living anymore
So let the Devil's Whistle blow
And make a mournful sound
We'll sing a song for Jiger
She's dead and in the ground
Jonah Heston: Oh, we're gonna miss you, Jiger.
Credits[]
- Performed by Jonah Ray, Baron Vaughn, Hampton Yount, and Rebecca Hanson