Cananda Song MST3K.jpg

"The Canada Song" (sometimes called "I Wish I Was Back in Old Canada") is a song from Mystery Science Theater 3000 performed during the first host segment of episode 910 The Final Sacrifice. Mike and Crow are poking fun at Canadians based on the ones they had just seen in the movie, when Tom Servo rolls up, dressed as a Mountie and admonishes them. He then offers "this song of tribute!"

After Mike and Crow point out, per their verses, everyone else makes fun of Canadians, they urge Servo to give it a try. In typical Tom-fashion, he goes completely overboard, singing about threats of death and violence against Canada instead of light-hearted joshing. After cutting him off mid-verse, Mike and Crow end the sketch trying to console Tom, sobbing over his gross faux pas.



Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!


Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur!
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!


Tom: Oh, stop that!


Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!


Tom: Yeah!

Crow, continuing

No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!


Tom: Now, this is NOT in the spirit I intended!
Mike: Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock, and Rush!
Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs!'
Tom: Okay, I'll try!'
Mike: All right! Good man!


(sadly) Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario, heh heh!
(harshly)The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!


Mike: Okay, well that's a little strong....
Tom: No, no, you were right Mike, this is much more fun!

Servo (maniacally):

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it?

Spoken: Crow: Yikes!

Servo (continuing)

Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh- (Mike and Crow cut Servo off in mid-sentence, and Servo breaks down.)


Mike, Crow (ab-lib): Whoa! Okay! Whoa!
Tom (sobbing): Sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform!
Mike: That's ok. Calm down. Mustn't hate, mustn't hate...
Crow: At least so overtly.
Mike: Exactly. Must disguise our hate. We'll be right back. Shhhh, it's ok now, Dudley. Calm down...
Tom (sobbing): Pardonnez-moi...
Mike: ...calm down...
Tom: ...pardonnez-moi.

External Links

The Canada Song on

Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Season 13 "Perico"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIClowns in the Sky I & IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the Sky