Cananda Song MST3K

"The Canada Song" (also known as "I Wish I Was Back in Old Canada") is a song performed by Tom Servo, Mike Nelson and Crow T. Robot during Experiment #910.


[On The Satellite of Love]

Mike Nelson: And then the drunk guy says "I can't help being an idiot, I'm Canadian."
Crow T. Robot: You're right. They're so pathetic, Mike.

[Tom Servo enters, dressed as a Mountie.]

Tom Servo: Enough! There's been too much Canada bashing for far too long. I say "no more."
Mike Nelson: Don't you mean "No more, eh?"
Crow T. Robot: Good one, man! They are so stupid!
Tom Servo: Stop it, now. Instead, let us offer our northern brothers and sisters this song of tribute.


Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada
A land which I never shall lampoon
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba
And the beauty that is Saskatoon (Mike: I've got one.)

Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur
As he scraped and he chiseled all the moose dung off his boots
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister (Tom Servo: Oh, stop that!)

Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too (Tom Servo: Yeah!)
No, I take that back I wouldn't go there even if you paid me
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!

Tom Servo: Now, this is not in the spirit I intended!
Mike Nelson: Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock, and Rush!
Crow T. Robot: Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs!
Tom Servo: Okay, I'll try!
Mike Nelson: All right! Good man!

Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island
And going on to bomb Ontario
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario

Mike Nelson: Okay, well that's a little strong....
Tom Servo: No, no, you were right Mike, this is much more fun!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it? (Crow: Yikes!)
Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards
Your country's just a giant piece of sh--

Mike & Crow: Whoa! Okay! Whoa! (& etc.)
Tom Servo: (sobbing) Sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform!
Mike Nelson: No, that's...that's ok. Now, calm down, now. Mustn't hate, mustn't hate...
Crow T. Robot: At least so overtly.
Mike Nelson: Exactly. Right. Must disguise our hate. Just a little. We'll be right back. Shhhh, shhh. It's okay now, Dudley. Calm down...calm down.
Tom Servo: (sobbing) Pardonnez-moi...pardonnez-moi...


Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "I Like What I Know About You" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Happy Thoughts" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Hired!"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Square Dance" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Tom Servo's Theme Song" • "Crow T. Robot's Theme Song" • "Mike Nelson's Theme Song" • "The United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!: "I'm the Government" / "I'm the Crime Bill" / "Government Gridlock" / "The Foreign Policy Blues" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones" • "Leave Bronx"
Season 8 "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms" • "The Funky Seventies" • "The Gods Jam" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love"
Season 9 "Pumaman" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • "Hobgoblins" • "The Canada Song" • "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Season 13 "Perico March" • "Mother Crabber" • "Sing a Song for Jiger" • "Supervillainesses" • "Monster RSVP" • "Hooray for Santa Claus" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Additional "Satellite of Love" • "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIClowns in the Sky I & IIMST3K: The ReturnSongs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the SkyMST3K Seasons 12 + 13