"To Earth!" was the last original song premiered on Mystery Science Theater 3000 during its original run, shown in the penultimate host segment of the last episode, Diabolik.

Mike, Gypsy and Tom are looking forward to landing on Earth. However, Crow is frightened at the prospect of life outside the Satellite of Love, and in his fear wedged himself under the desk. However, to calm him down, Mike wrote the following song about the wonders of Earth:


Mike: I know it's hard to leave
This little satellite of ours
We've had some fine adventures
We've danced among the stars

Gypsy: [spoken] We did?

Mike: And though we're far-out space nuts
No matter where I roam
There's just no other planet
Like the planet I call home

Servo: [spoken] Wisconsin?

Mike: [spoken] No... actually, I was thinking—To Earth!
The very birthplace of my birth
The though of Earth fills me with mirth

Servo: Hey, maybe we'll meet Colin Firth!

Mike: That is a possibility.

To see
The blossoms on an apple tree

Gypsy: To wander barefoot by the sea

Servo: And slice your heel upon a broken bottle of Lipton iced tea!

Mike: [spoken] Come on, clam it, shorty. You're not helping.

Crow: The earth's a big and scary place
With wars and crime and death

Servo: [spoken] It is?

Crow: They listen to Shawn Mullins
And Alanis Morissette

Servo: [spoken] Oh, no!

Crow: This satellite has been my home
I've never known another
Where will I live, what will I do,
And can I keep my mother?

Mike: [spoken] Absolutely.

(Mike produces Crow's mother from under the desk—a popcorn popper with a drawn-on face attached to a wire trash basket.)

Crow: [spoken] Mom!

Then it's to earth we'll go to stay.

Gypsy: Through sylvan glens we'll romp and play!

Servo: But what if I get eaten
By a dog, or by a mantaray?

Crow, Mike, and Gypsy: Let's go

Servo: But there's so much that we don't know

Crow, Mike, and Gypsy: We're Gypsy, Servo, Mike, and Crow!

Servo: I'm scared of water buffalo!

Crow, Mike, Gypsy: Exotic lands we'll come to know

Servo: We'll all get mobbed in Chicago

Crow, Mike, Gypsy: We'll bid this satellite farewell
And then we'll go to Earth

Servo: Well, now I think I'd rather stay

Crow, Mike, Gypsy: To Earth!

Servo: I wish to hell you wouldn't say...

Crow, Mike, Gypsy, Servo: To Earth!


The song succeeds in its intended purpose, and Crow is now thrilled to be venturing to Earth. However, Servo is now frightened by the prospect of Earth, and wedges himself under the desk in fear. Mike laments that he will have to write another song.

Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K "O Tannenbot" • "Theme to Fugitive Alien" • "Has-Been Actors" • Joel's military cadence
Season 1 "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "I'm a Hu-Man"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "My Creepy Girl" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "Joey the Lemur" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "Master Ninja Theme Song"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Killer Shrew" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Who Will I Kill?"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "The Ballad of Goosio" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme" • "The Magic in You" • "Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
Season 12 "Get in Your Mech" • "Trippy Blob" • "Concepts!" • "Below the Dam" • "There's a Cut on My Hand and a Pain in My Heart" • "Your Horrible Show (Your Show Stinks)"
Season 13 "Perico"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robots Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love" • "Teen Reporter, Tom Servo"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIClowns in the Sky I & IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3KThe Complete Clowns in the Sky